One thing that I continue to learn is that weddings are just going to bring up a lot of feelings. They’re going to bring up a lot of ideas, and they’re going to bring up a lot of thoughts around goal setting and thoughts around  who I want to be, and how I want to show up in the world.

 

When I’m in the Bay area, I tend to see a lot of friends who have hit different milestones than me, who, organize their life in a very different way than I do. And it just causes reflection. It might cause reflection for them as well. And so when I returned home after attending a wedding in San Francisco, I was just feeling drained from having seen so many family members and friends. I was just feeling bad.

 

This year, and last year, and the last six years have been hard. They’ve been difficult to navigate. I have tried to do so many different things. I have started so many different things. Some have succeeded and some have not. And that’s the truth of all success. That’s so true of all ideas, is that some will succeed and some will not. But I was having thoughts like, “I’m not successful”. I know those thoughts are not really the truth, and they’re just thoughts going through my head and feelings that I’m having and moments of downward spiraling.

 

So, I decided to book a session with my life coach, Claire, at The Happy Hour in Nashville. I do these sessions virtually, and I find them to be extremely valuable to me. Even though I knew I couldn’t spend a ton of money this week, I allocated the money toward this life coaching session, because I know that mindset is so important when it comes to my own success and the ability to be open to success.

 

I decided to invest in this life coaching session, and I really am so happy that I did, because it helped me flesh out an idea that I’d had. A song I find to be so inspiring about Miley Cyrus’ career is ‘The Climb’. I’ve always compared my journey of building and growing, with ‘The Climb’ and climbing a big mountain. I’m climbing, I’m climbing, I’m getting to the top of the mountain, and of course, we all know that it’s not the destination. That is the goal: the climb, the journey.

 

One thing that I don’t think I’ve ever considered until this stage in my life, is that when you climb, you take breaks. And when you climb, you drink water. Like Claire said: “When people climb to the top of Mount Everest, they have extra oxygen, they have support. They have ways that they fuel themselves. They eat protein. They have juice packs, things like that. And they stop at base camps.”

 

One of the things that I am thinking about as I go into the end of the year and approach 2026, is this idea of a base camp. Because of course I want to be a world-famous musical comedian, or comedian, or host. And of course I want to be a successful business owner. I want to be a family man. I want to be able to have friends and a social life that are extremely fun.  And at the end of the year, it’s a time you can ramp up and you can say, “I’m going to get those goals before December 31st”. Or you can say, “I’m going to reflect and I’m going to calm down and I’m going to work hard, but I’m not going to push myself for the rest of the year.”

 

And that’s where I am right now. I’m going to be in a base camp, and I would say for coming months, I’m going to try to really work on my own stability, my own strength, and my own ability to keep climbing, because in the scheme of my life, which might be 95 years, I want to be able to look back and say that I did it sustainably. I want to be able to look back and say that I did it well, and I want to be able to look back and say that I did it in a way that was good for me and not bad for me. I don’t want to push myself to a crazy level to find success, if success is doesn’t allow me to enjoy my life.

 

So I invite you to think of success a different way, and to know you can still be climbing Mount Everest, but you do need to take breaks and you do need to stop at a base camp.

 

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Ben Hawes is a comedian, author, podcaster, and the owner of a photo booth company and content creation management firm. He leads with boldness and real heart in everything he builds. His mobile photo booth brings a spark to any event and his musical comedy shows give New York a place to laugh. When he’s ready to check in with himself and figure out what feels right for his next step, he turns to coaching with Claire at The Happy Hour for grounding, clarity, and direction.