Category Archives: Mental Health

How Small Shifts Transform Your Relationship

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“It’s the dishes, but it’s never really the dishes.”

 

For therapist Christa Booker, this simple phrase captures the heart of couples work. Conflicts often appear to be about everyday tasks—who’s doing the laundry, taking out the trash, or loading the dishwasher. But in reality, it points to something deeper: patterns of communication, unmet needs, or feeling unseen in the relationship.

 

Recognizing the Patterns

I got to chat with Christa on her work, and what excites her the most when it comes to working with couples. “I’m trained in pattern recognition,” Christa explains. “Normally when couples come in, you can point out the pattern. If the couples are willing to put in the work, it’s relatively quick and simple.” 

The key to note here is “both are willing to put in the work” – This takes patience and resilience. By slowing down and noticing recurring dynamics, couples can start to see what’s really happening in their relationship. It’s rarely about the chores themselves, it’s about the emotions and expectations tied to those moments. 

 

The Power of Simple Changes

What excites Christa most is helping couples realize that change doesn’t always require a complete overhaul. Sometimes it’s just one simple change that can be made and it shifts the entire experience. Couples therapy should feel like a safe space, a time dedicated to strengthening your teamwork. Often, the tension between you can feel heavier than the actual problem/pattern at hand.

With training in the Gottman Method and Prepare/Enrich, Christa brings practical tools to help partners better understand each other. “I like this work because you can offer some focused tools on what couples are trying to accomplish,” she says. “It’s about exploring the emotional experiences they’re both having so they can better understand each other.”

There’s no shame in experiencing conflict. Even if you’ve been with your partner for years and feel like you know them well, you’ll never fully know how they experience you—how your words or actions land with them. That’s where communication, and sometimes therapy, comes in. Together, you can learn how to become the best team possible.

 

Building Relationships That Last

Whether couples are navigating ongoing tension or simply wanting to strengthen their bond, Christa’s approach is rooted in both compassion and practicality. By teaching partners to spot patterns, shift dynamics, and engage in deeper conversations, she helps them discover that meaningful change is possible, even when the same arguments have been on repeat for years.

As Christa reflects: “It’s never just the dishes. It’s the pattern that needs to change, and the communication around the pattern.”

At The Happy Hour, we believe that small shifts can create lasting impact. If you and your partner are ready to build stronger communication and deeper connection, our team is here to support you every step of the way.

 

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Prepare and Enrich your Relationship

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The Power of Relationships

One of the most fundamentally important aspects of being a person is relationship. Relationships are how we relate to others and how we contextualize ourselves and the roles we play in our communities, families, and even the way we form our own identities. The people in our lives with whom we have a close relationship form the basis of our support systems, how we receive and accept love, and shape our development throughout all of life’s stages. The people we surround ourselves with and come to know deeply are also the people who provide the emotional backdrop for our lives, whether that is safety and comfort or fear and emotional isolation.

Because of how important relationships are to human beings, I am drawn to working with couples. There are many types of relationships, but romantic relationships are some of the most powerful and personally impactful relationships we can have. This is why I believe it is so important to build those relationships on a foundation of trust, communication, acceptance, love, and support. Every human being is different. We all relate to ourselves, others, and the world in a different way. To me, this is a beautiful and wonderful thing. However, it can also make it difficult for us to be on the same page.

 

Strengthening Romantic Relationships

Prepare & Enrich helps couples understand the concepts of how relationships function, how individual differences can change what relationships look like, and gives couples tools for learning to support each other more deeply and more fully.

I love seeing couples figuring things out together and coming to a deeper understanding of the ones they love. Let’s be honest, though. Relationships can also be difficult, exhausting, and straining when things don’t seem to be working. Participating in Prepare & Enrich allows individuals with their own specific fears and insecurities work together to support and compliment their partners in ways that match each person’s strengths and weaknesses. Whether a person’s relationships are healthy or unhealthy makes a huge impact on their overall health and well-being.

 

Why Communication and Trust Matter

Beginning a relationship with a commitment to understanding one another, supporting one another, and coming together in a cohesive way sets the stage for a relationship filled with growth, love, and confidence instead of fear, isolation, and resentment. Prepare & Enrich is a great way to approach relationships from a place of curiosity instead of judgment.

My name is Sam Wilson, and I would love to be a part of your journey toward a healthy relationship with Prepare & Enrich.

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THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.


A Tiny Experiment: Moments of Quiet

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I’m back with week three of my tiny experiment – writing about one thing each week that inspires me. Writing from my heart and my gut, and without using the help of ChatGPT. This isn’t anything against AI, it’s so helpful, but I want to commit to practicing using only my brain without the help of our lovely robot overlords. 

I have to say, I’ve been enjoying this tiny experiment, and so far it’s been a beneficial practice in letting my thoughts flow authentically. I had no idea what I was going to write until about five minutes ago, and loosening a tight grip of control on a very scheduled life feels like liberation. For now, I’m going to keep it up. 

This week I was inspired by silence. By not only a few intentional moments of quiet where I could really tune into myself and connect to something larger; but also those gaps between questions asked to my clients that may feel awkward for a moment, but often result in a robust insight versus a rushed answer. There were a few times driving my car this week where I didn’t listen to music, the news, or a podcast, and simply just noticed the ambient air around me. I noticed what it felt like not to have my brain working for a few minutes – it sort of felt like floating on your back with your ears under water, where you feel completely, if only momentarily, immune from the chaos happening above the water. It felt freeing. 

I experienced a different type of noise cancellation today after I realized I was fresh out of contact lenses, only for my left eye somehow, which has a drastically worse prescription than my right. So, I popped on my glasses, which is great, but not so great for doing hot yoga where they slip right off. Without any corrective lenses I am pretty much limited to seeing blobs of people and objects that are any further than 3 feet away from me. I was forced to focus only on what was within the perimeter of my mat. Without being able to compare myself to others (am I doing this right? Should I do what that person is doing? I’ll never be able to do a headstand…) look to the teacher to see what was the “right” pose, I was able to follow along but do my own thing. This meant really tuning out of my head, tuning into my body, and moving however I felt aligned in that moment. The noise cancellation of unconscious comparison and self criticism was a heavenly sensation that I can only describe as feeling like home. There are so many lessons to glean from the power of silence, and it’s another practice I want to intentionally commit to. Maybe another tiny experiment to add to the list.  When we went into savasana at the end of the hour, the instructor reminded us that this moment of stillness and quiet is what the practice led up to for the entire hour, and if you skip it, you’re sort of missing the point. Quiet isn’t the end of the story, it’s the climax.   

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

A Tiny Experiment: Winter Storm Resources

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Last week I wrote about a new concept I am trying out, a Tiny Experiment. I am a little late on my goal of once a week, but this week has been flipped upside down a few times, so I’m giving myself grace and am going to keep the goal the same – I’m going to write about something that inspires me once a week, maybe more. 

Finding inspiration this week was easy. After the winter storm that Mayor O’Connell described as “the worst destruction from a natural disaster that I’ve seen the city face in my lifetime,” Nashville came to a standstill. Hundreds of thousands of people were left without power, searching for warmth, trying to keep their families safe, and sitting with the anxiety that comes with so much uncertainty.

After a few days of very minimal communication outside of my street, cell service returned and was I flooded with news of people in Nashville stepping up to help each other. Restaurants like Edley’s BBQ, Prince’s Hot Chicken, and Brown’s Diner offered free food to anyone in need, no questions asked. Waldo’s provided food for lineworkers working around the clock to restore power. Non profit organizations like Second Harvest food bank sent thousands of free meals to warming centers across the city. Neighbors opened their doors to people they knew, and people they didn’t–at one point my own neighbors opened their doors to share their home with roughly thirteen people, two dogs, one cat, and a bearded dragon. I was part of numerous group text threads where people invited anyone to their homes to take a hot shower or eat a home made meal. 

There is something special about this city, particularly in the way that the community shows up for each other. We have been faced with some tough events in the last 5 years, and every time I am in awe of how everyone takes care of each other. It is a feeling of camaraderie that is irreplaceable and indescribable, and I am so very grateful to be a part of it. 

In an effort to continue to support our community, I also want to share these helpful resources that are available to Nashvillians right now. Things change quickly, but following some of these organizations on social media (if you have cell service) is a really helpful way to stay up to date. 

Stay safe, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. 💙 

 

Mental Health

  • Signs of disaster-related stress can include:
    • Difficulty sleeping
    • Disorientation, confusion, loss of appetite
    • Feelings of hopelessness or depression
  • Disaster Distress Helpline. It’s normal to feel anxiety after a storm like this. Trained crisis counselors are ready to help in English, Spanish, or American Sign Language (videophone available). Call 1-800-985-5990
  • Tips for Coping with Grief after a Natural Disaster.
  • The Happy Hour. This is not a sales pitch, we are just really ready to help in person or virtually. We also have a Grief Circle coming up at the end of February if you are seeking to process in community.

 

Ways to Help

  • If you are in a position to donate funds, The Volunteer Organizations in Active Disaster, United Way Greater Nashville, and Community Foundation of Middle Tennessee have announced the Winter Weather Relief Fund for those affected by the storm to apply for relief. If you need to apply for relief, you can find more information here.
  • One Generation Away is looking for volunteers this Saturday, January 31st to help with food distribution at Centennial High School in Franklin. All ages are welcome to help, bring the whole family.
  • Keep checking on your neighbors! And keep talking to each other. Your feelings are valid and important!

 

Food and Nutrition, Life and Safety Resources

A Tiny Experiment

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I’m starting a tiny experiment.

The idea came to me through a book recommendation shared by a friend in my women’s business group. The book is called Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World. The premise immediately caught my attention, mostly because it challenges something we’re so deeply conditioned to believe.

We live in a world that loves goals. SMART goals. Measurable goals. Stretch goals. We’re taught to decide exactly what we want, map out the steps, and push until we get there. And if we don’t? We tend to blame ourselves. We didn’t want it badly enough. We didn’t try hard enough. We failed.

I’ve lived this way for years. And to be fair, there is an upside. Setting goals this way has forced me to confront my relationship with failure. It’s helped me toughen up, learn resilience, and understand that not everything works out the way I plan it. You don’t “succeed” at everything — and learning how to recover from that does matter.

But this book flips the idea of success entirely on its head. This book focuses on the process, the how, and not just the outcome. I have found in myself how dangerous being only achievement-focused can become. We tend to overidentify with achievement instead of our values and authenticity, and when we hit the mark, we often don’t feel fulfilled in the way we thought we would. And the goal post continues to move. 

Instead of defining success as achieving the outcome you set out to reach, Tiny Experiments defines success as learning something new.

That stopped me in my tracks.

What if success isn’t about hitting the mark, but about noticing what happens when you try? What if curiosity replaces shame? What if forward motion matters more than precision?

 

So here’s my tiny experiment:

I’m committing to writing about something that inspires me — formally — at least once a week. Maybe more. But I’m trying to take my own advice here and start small. And per author Anne-Laure Le Cunff’s process, I’m going to 1) set a doable duration of one month, then 2) check back in to assess how I felt during the experiment, and 3) decide if I want to continue, adjust or stop.

And I’m taking you along with me.

Today, I’m inspired by the concept of tiny experiments themselves.

In an age of constant busyness — and increasingly, AI — I want to make sure I’m still exercising my own mind in ways that feel meaningful to me. Writing has always been a place where I process, connect dots, and find presence and peace. This feels like a way to stay awake to my own inner life.

My hope is that these small sparks of inspiration might spark something in you, too.

Some of what inspires me that you might see coming down the pike:

  • Books — I’ve fallen back in love with reading over the last year, and I’d forgotten how much peace and presence it brings me. And concepts like this expand my mind.
  • My clients — always with privacy and ethics intact — but inspired daily by the courage, honesty, and growth I get to witness.
  • My kids — who constantly give me a beginner’s mindset and remind me of what’s important.
  • People doing good in the world — often quietly, often imperfectly, often without applause.

That said, I’m open to where this takes me, and excited to see where I may become inspired. This isn’t about perfection. It’s not about consistency for consistency’s sake. It’s not about building a brand or proving anything.

It’s just a tiny experiment.

And if all I learn is something new along the way? Then, by this definition, it’s already a success.

 

P.S. if you are interested in the concept, but don’t have time to read the book, check out this podcast episode where Le Cunff explains the idea of Tiny Experiments. 

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

Filter Decisions Through Your Why: Letting Purpose Lead This New Season

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This time of year often arrives with a quiet kind of pressure.

New goals, habits, and decisions about who we’re becoming and how we want the year to unfold. There’s an unspoken expectation to move quickly, to be clear, confident, and decisive.

This is something I see often, both personally and with others: when life shifts, the pressure to “figure it out” can feel overwhelming. Last year brought change that invited me to look honestly at what was truly making me happy and what was draining me. I realized I had been going through the motions of a life that left me feeling depleted.

As I moved through these changes, even small decisions began to feel loaded, what to say yes to, what to release, what deserved my time, energy, and heart. And what I’ve learned is this: when decisions start to feel heavy, it’s usually a sign that clarity, not more effort, is what’s needed.

I noticed that when I tried to think my way forward, I felt scattered and unsure. But when I paused and returned to my why, how I want to live, feel, and show up, everything softened. Purpose didn’t give me a perfect plan; it gave me a filter.

Purpose doesn’t have to be a grand life mission or a polished statement.

Often, it’s simply clarity around what matters most right now and how you want your life to feel. This is where decision-making becomes less about pressure and more about alignment.

Filtering decisions through your why means gently asking:

  • Does this support the life I’m intentionally creating?
  • Does this align with my values, energy, and capacity right now?
  • Am I choosing this from alignment or from momentum, fear, or expectation?

When purpose becomes the filter, decisions don’t magically become easy, but they do become clearer. You stop forcing answers and start noticing what fits. Purpose becomes an anchor. An internal compass that helps you move forward with confidence, one intentional decision at a time. This approach also offers permission, to slow down, to change your mind, and to choose differently than you have before. Purpose isn’t asking for perfection; it’s inviting honesty.

As you move through this year, you don’t need all the answers. What often matters more is a willingness to pause before the yes. To listen inward. To let your why guide your choices.

If you’re navigating a new season, you might explore this through reflection:

  • What truly matters to me right now?
  • What do I want my decisions to support?
  • What would it look like to choose alignment over expectation?

Purpose has a way of meeting you exactly where you are, and leading you forward, one aligned decision at a time.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

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12 Lessons in 12 Months – My 40th Birthday Reflection

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I began this annual birthday reflection a few years ago after being inspired by the practice introduced to me by Jay Shetty. When I’m in the midst of journaling, I’m typically expressing my deepest emotions and thoughts about what I’m going through in that moment. Doing this exercise really helps to zoom out and see how all of these experiences are so beautifully woven together.

This year was marked by big transitions, unexpected disruptions, deep joy, and moments that knocked the wind out of me. There were seasons of celebration and seasons of grief, times when life felt expansive and times when it felt unbearably tender. This year asked me to sit in stillness with contradiction – to hold what was beautiful and painful at the same time, without rushing to resolve or choose one story over the other. 

The lessons I write about weren’t learned in grand epiphanies, but in ordinary moments, that I’ve now strung together to create much larger meaning and purpose. I hope you find a nugget of wisdom that resonates with you too. 

 

Lesson #1 – November 2024

A five minute conversation with love can shift everything

 

If you’ve read my birthday reflection emails in years past, you already know how inspiring I find Elizabeth Gilbert’s writing and concepts. In November, I stumbled upon her substack, particularly an entry in which she talks about a practice called “Two-Way Prayer.” As luck would have it, this practice was just what I needed during this season. Here’s how it works, you open your notebook, and write the question: “Dear Love (or God, or whatever feels right to you), what would you have me know today?”, and from there you simply write whatever naturally comes to the tip of your pen. The trick here is not to overthink, and don’t spend more than five minutes doing it. It’s not meant to be perfect prose, but simply a practice in allowing the love that is always in you, to come to the surface and be seen and felt for a brief moment. That brief moment can be a powerful reset that gives you a genuinely, positive reset. 

 

Lesson #2 – December 2024

When you’re feeling bogged down, remember your “why”

 

I met December with a schedule that was packed and planned down to the minute. With two kids who were in full swing of the magic of Santa, I reminded myself that the years are flying by and to try to be present in these special moments. Wrapping up work for the year was equally busy, and I reminded myself that the vision of this work isn’t to get my to-do list done. There is no reward for checking off all the boxes. I spent some time thinking about my why, when my mind felt like it was being pulled in a hundred directions. I was grateful to have taken a trip with my family, where I remembered the importance of play. Traveling across the country for Christmas, and having the chance to swim in the ocean and tune out the rest of the world reminded me of just how small I am in this world, and validated my earlier notion of not sweating the small stuff.

In preparation for a Pathfinder client that I was going to be supporting on her creative journey, I re-read Big Magic for the third time. Each time I read it with a new perspective and experience under my belt, and it gives me just what I need in that season. A favorite passage from this time around was: “What are the treasures hidden inside you? What do they want you to say yes to? The hunt to uncover those jewels, that’s creative living.” 

 

Lesson #3 – January 2025

Perspective is a beautiful teacher

 

January always brings a welcome hibernation. It’s dark and cold out, the holiday buzz has worn off, and everyone is thinking about their intentions for the upcoming year. I thought a lot about what I wanted to let go of in this next season of life: situations that make me feel “ugh,” feeling the need to “do it all,” worry, grudges, unreasonable expectations. I really felt determined and ready to stand my ground with confidence and kindness. I used the metaphors of a mountain, a staple, and a pillar to help me bring to life how I wanted to feel. I have felt that way before, and I really wanted to show up as that in my daily life. My intentional word for the year was “affirmed.” 

Shortly after these reflections, the devastating wildfires swept through California, and I feared for a loved one whose neighborhood was destroyed. I had so much gratitude that she was OK, and was deeply saddened that many in her community were not. My daughter and I flew to LA as her cheer squad after she said goodbye to her beloved home. Despite the circumstances, our togetherness and immense love for each other made it one of the most fulfilling weekends on record for the three of us. Once again, I learned the power of perspective, and boy is she a beaut. 

I wrote this down in my journal, and am really hoping these were my wise words and not just me forgetting to put a quotation and author down 🤣, but regardless, it’s a lovely sentiment: “I want to see with my heart, put words to the inexplicable, and meet creativity in a two way conversation.” 

 

Lesson #4 – February 2025

Peace comes not from fixing reality, but from letting go of resistance — making room for clarity, compassion, and connection

 

February was another month of some heart-bursting highs and some painfully low lows. I felt fulfilled and empowered by a few bonding experiences with the women in my life, which reminded me of the value of nurturing relationships with the special women in your life. 

I witnessed some deep struggles from my inner-circle, and felt gutted on more than one occasion. I struggled myself with more macro events of the world, that seemed to be led by fear and anger- pretty much the antithesis of how I am built. In the synchronous, universe-knows-best timing of things, a client of mine became intrigued by Radical Acceptance, and so we dug into the concept together. Wouldn’t you know, it was just what I also needed. Some questions I explored from Radical Acceptance: 

  • How would my life feel different if I stopped resisting the pain around the reality and embraced what is?
  • What would it look like to accept this reality without fixing it or changing it?
  • What past situation have I eventually accepted, and how did that shift things for me?

 

Lesson #5 – March 2025

Presence turns endings into something I can carry with me

 

March marked the two-month countdown of moving out of our home of nearly seven years, so looming change was getting really real. I got sappy going down memory lane as I cleaned out my children’s collections, and a little spazzy trying to perfectly plan where everything would go in the new house and what our new systems would be — with my number one goal being to finally solve the mystery of how there could always be no fewer than six pairs of children’s socks scattered across the floor at any given moment. I guess life is pretty good when these are the things keeping you up at night.

Even so, a major life change has a way of luring a recovering perfectionist back toward the familiar comfort of control. I continued to remind myself that I didn’t have to have all the answers on day one. And certainly not on day one minus 60 days. Cue the radical acceptance work: 

“At this moment, do I accept myself just as I am?” This ran through my mind over and over and over. 

I decided that I wanted to let myself feel all the memories that flooded in – bringing home our second baby, his first steps, meeting our puppy, Easter egg hunts in the back yard, making baked ziti for Christmas Eve dinner and then sleeping together in the living room when the electricity (and thus heat) went out all over Nashville, sheltering in place together during the weirdest year of life, the list goes on and on. I wanted to sear these memories into my brain. Practicing presence was crucial to be able to take it all in, and by the end of it, it somehow made the emotional toll of the move easier. It gave a sort of closure to know that I could take all of those important milestones with me. 

 

Lesson #6 – April 2025

Find your village and hold it close

 

April opened with celebration – my little sister’s wedding, where we were surrounded by family and friends from many different seasons of my life. Standing beside her as Matron of Honor – and having the chance to speak about who she is – felt especially meaningful. As I prepared her speech, I felt so inspired by her that I jotted down some takeaways to apply to my own life: do more of what you want without worrying about others’ opinions; see the good in people; be unapologetically you. I was reminded to play more and let life feel a little lighter. 

On return from the magical weekend of the wedding, I experienced a stark turn of events when I came face-to-face with the reality that The Happy Hour studio had flooded from a four-day deluge of rain that left much of the city under water. I was beyond grateful for the village surrounding me during this chaos: our neighbors who not only sounded the alarm to us, but also jumped in to help (that’s you Fahrenheit ladies), Claire, who dealt with it in real-time while I was away, my women’s business group who listened to me cry, and my THH team who remained steady and supportive while I was having trouble seeing the forest through the trees. This experience nudged me to let myself accept the help from all around, and highlighted the importance of having that proverbial village around you. 

 

Lesson #7- May 2025

Figure out what is sacred to you and prioritize it

 

May 3rd, moving day. Surrounded by boxes, I reflected on how different our lives look compared to when we moved in nearly seven years ago as a three-person family where I grew into motherhood, flanked by a brood of three different dogs than we have today. Somehow it feels like a lifetime ago, but yesterday at the same time. This process put into perspective the importance of presence and not “sweating the small stuff” because you won’t remember the small stuff in the long-run. It was a great reminder to prioritize what matters and hold it close. 

I wrote: Dear House, you gave us charm, love, closeness, togetherness, sleep training, potty training, falling asleep on the floor while doing said training, and so many mental health walks. Holding space is an under-recognized, under-appreciated healing art. And house, you nailed it.”

I didn’t journal for three more weeks. I was hard at work making a new house a home. 

 

Lesson #8 – June 2025

I can hold relief and disappointment, grief and gratitude, without forcing myself to choose between them

 

The theme this month was all about holding two things at the same time: living in opposites without forcing myself to choose one or the other. We finally put the flood remediation and insurance disputes behind us — an ending that felt both relieving and disappointing at the same time. It forced me to zoom out and reconnect with my why. The flood and its impact on the business wasn’t the story; it was a moment. What mattered more was the larger vision of impact — serving my community and extending that work beyond it. In the long arc of things, this will be a blip on the radar. 

In re-visiting my journal entries, it was clear I was being overly critical of my feelings, and second guessing myself. This is easy to do when you feel spread thin. Looking back with fresh eyes is such a great reminder to remember that these punctuations don’t define you, and with determination and softness you can get through anything. At the same time, I had many tender moments with my children, got to bear witness to two of my best friends getting married, and traveled to Paris for my 15 year wedding anniversary and got lost in the freeness of the city. 

 

 Lesson #9 – July 2025

Do what you can to be actively thankful

 

The day after we returned from our big trip, the news broke of the deadly flooding in Texas. It felt so close to home, and my heart ached for the families who lost their loved ones. I cycled through feelings of sadness, guilt, desperation, and a heightened fear for how fragile and precious life is. I tuned into a church sermon the Sunday following these events, and it was about washing away your fear with love. This became my mantra this month, and brought me back to the November lesson of spending five minutes with love. 

The same sermon talked about gratitude, and the cycle of that can commonly happen. It went something like this: 1) overwhelmingly thankful – you feel it in every cell of your body; 2) extremely thankful – a little toned down, but still verbally expressing gratitude; 3) silently thankful – you’re not verbally sharing it with anyone; 4) indifferent – you don’t feel strongly one way or the other; 5) unthankful; 6) entitled. The whole point of this was to encourage listeners to be actively thankful, share their thanks with others, write it down, and make it meaningful to you. Being actively thankful helps maintain connections with people in your life who are important to you, and helps create resilience when inevitable hardships arise. This just reminded me of one of the first definitions I ever heard of “spirituality,” which was “anything that brings you closer to gratitude.” 

 

Lesson # 10 – August 2025

Don’t underestimate the power of herzensbildung

 

We welcomed the back to school season, and adapted to another new schedule, which was met with open arms and excitement for a consistent routine. I read the book How to Know a Person, by David Brooks, and I loved his concept of Illuminators and Diminishers. The titles are pretty self-explanatory, but he described Illuminators to “have a persistent curiosity about people…they know what to look for and how to ask the right questions at the right time. They shine the brightness of their care on people and make them feel bigger, deeper, respected, lit up.” Whereas, Diminishers “make other people feel small and unseen. They see other people as things to be used, not persons to be befriended. They stereotype and ignore. They are so concerned with themselves that other people are just not on their radar screen.” Yikes. 

I thought a lot about what it would look like to show up as an illuminator in all parts of my life. When I am coaching my job is to ask the right questions and make people feel seen. How can I ensure that I bring this same quality out of the office with me consistently? What’s that saying…”the painter’s house is never painted”? I want to be sure my house is always painted, so to speak. The book talked about a German word, herzensbildung, which means to train one’s heart to see the full humanity in another. In literal translation it’s “heart education.” I love that. 

 

Lesson #11 – September 2025

When in doubt, return to a Beginner’s Mind

 

This month we celebrated the joy of two birthdays in our family, and one unexpected loss of our sweet puppy, Penelope. Remember when I said this year was about living in duality? My intention through it all was to stay in my truth, and try to keep tuning into my wisdom. Helping my children learn how to grieve in a healthy and authentic manner was a painful, yet powerful teacher to me as well. My son turned to ritual, singing songs about our beloved puppy; and my daughter illustrated her grief with words, “my grief feels like an icky perfume is stuck in my chest.” I was in awe of them, and felt like I learned as much from them. I was reminded of the powerful concept of a Beginner’s Mind. 

I revisited my two-way prayer practice, and was inspired to model love, rest when rest was needed, and push when strength was needed. Despite the hardship, I felt really present with my clients and honed in on being an Illuminator. 

 

Lesson #12 – October 2025

We are all ages we’ve ever been

 

October tied all of this year’s experiences together with a nice little bow. On the way to The Happy Hour’s retreat at Miraval in Austin, I listened to a meditation in which listeners are guided to meet their Higher Selves. I let my imagination run wild, and was able to see my higher self as a steady woman with a soft smile on her face, propped up against a tree holding hands with three younger versions of myself. The concept “we are all ages we’ve ever been,” reverberated through my mind. I was reminded of how nurturing these selves isn’t about going backwards, but rather the opposite, it fosters forward movement, healing and growth. 

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

The Climb: Why Your Base Camps Matter

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One thing that I continue to learn is that weddings are just going to bring up a lot of feelings. They’re going to bring up a lot of ideas, and they’re going to bring up a lot of thoughts around goal setting and thoughts around  who I want to be, and how I want to show up in the world.

 

When I’m in the Bay area, I tend to see a lot of friends who have hit different milestones than me, who, organize their life in a very different way than I do. And it just causes reflection. It might cause reflection for them as well. And so when I returned home after attending a wedding in San Francisco, I was just feeling drained from having seen so many family members and friends. I was just feeling bad.

 

This year, and last year, and the last six years have been hard. They’ve been difficult to navigate. I have tried to do so many different things. I have started so many different things. Some have succeeded and some have not. And that’s the truth of all success. That’s so true of all ideas, is that some will succeed and some will not. But I was having thoughts like, “I’m not successful”. I know those thoughts are not really the truth, and they’re just thoughts going through my head and feelings that I’m having and moments of downward spiraling.

 

So, I decided to book a session with my life coach, Claire, at The Happy Hour in Nashville. I do these sessions virtually, and I find them to be extremely valuable to me. Even though I knew I couldn’t spend a ton of money this week, I allocated the money toward this life coaching session, because I know that mindset is so important when it comes to my own success and the ability to be open to success.

 

I decided to invest in this life coaching session, and I really am so happy that I did, because it helped me flesh out an idea that I’d had. A song I find to be so inspiring about Miley Cyrus’ career is ‘The Climb’. I’ve always compared my journey of building and growing, with ‘The Climb’ and climbing a big mountain. I’m climbing, I’m climbing, I’m getting to the top of the mountain, and of course, we all know that it’s not the destination. That is the goal: the climb, the journey.

 

One thing that I don’t think I’ve ever considered until this stage in my life, is that when you climb, you take breaks. And when you climb, you drink water. Like Claire said: “When people climb to the top of Mount Everest, they have extra oxygen, they have support. They have ways that they fuel themselves. They eat protein. They have juice packs, things like that. And they stop at base camps.”

 

One of the things that I am thinking about as I go into the end of the year and approach 2026, is this idea of a base camp. Because of course I want to be a world-famous musical comedian, or comedian, or host. And of course I want to be a successful business owner. I want to be a family man. I want to be able to have friends and a social life that are extremely fun.  And at the end of the year, it’s a time you can ramp up and you can say, “I’m going to get those goals before December 31st”. Or you can say, “I’m going to reflect and I’m going to calm down and I’m going to work hard, but I’m not going to push myself for the rest of the year.”

 

And that’s where I am right now. I’m going to be in a base camp, and I would say for coming months, I’m going to try to really work on my own stability, my own strength, and my own ability to keep climbing, because in the scheme of my life, which might be 95 years, I want to be able to look back and say that I did it sustainably. I want to be able to look back and say that I did it well, and I want to be able to look back and say that I did it in a way that was good for me and not bad for me. I don’t want to push myself to a crazy level to find success, if success is doesn’t allow me to enjoy my life.

 

So I invite you to think of success a different way, and to know you can still be climbing Mount Everest, but you do need to take breaks and you do need to stop at a base camp.

 

Ben Hawes is a comedian, author, podcaster, and the owner of a photo booth company and content creation management firm. He leads with boldness and real heart in everything he builds. His mobile photo booth brings a spark to any event and his musical comedy shows give New York a place to laugh. When he’s ready to check in with himself and figure out what feels right for his next step, he turns to coaching with Claire at The Happy Hour for grounding, clarity, and direction.

Redefining Masculinity

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How Therapy Helps Men Build Emotional Connection

 

For therapist Sam Wilson, supporting men in exploring the intersection of masculinity and emotion is both meaningful and personal.

 

Going through my own mental health journey and having a really positive experience in therapy inspired me to pursue this work. I realized how powerful it can be—and I wanted to help others experience that same kind of growth and understanding.

 

That insight guides his work with men who are learning that strength and vulnerability can co-exist.

 

Re-evaluating Masculinity

Many men grow up hearing messages like don’t cry or walk it off—ideas that make emotional expression feel unsafe or weak. “That kind of conditioning disconnects us from our emotions and from the people we care about,” Sam explains.

In his work, Sam helps men question those old beliefs and redefine what bravery and connection can look like. “Masculinity and vulnerability can absolutely coexist,” he says. “The paradox is, the more restrictions you put on what masculinity should look like, the less authentic it becomes. When men open up, their relationships deepen—through empathy, emotional intelligence, and confidence in who they really are.”

 

Strength and Vulnerability Can Coexist

Many men come to therapy feeling torn between wanting to appear strong and wanting to feel connected. Sam helps them see that those two things aren’t opposites—they’re partners.

“Vulnerability is strength,” he says. “It takes courage to face what’s uncomfortable, to listen deeply, and to be real.”

To Sam, healthy masculinity means leading with openness, humility, and a willingness to grow. “Strength looks like vulnerability,” he says. “It’s the courage to accept influence from others, to admit when you need help, and to show up for the people in your life.”

 

Common Struggles Men Face

Sam often works with men who feel disconnected—from loved ones, their work, or even themselves. “Loneliness, relationship struggles, isolation, and feeling like you’re not living up to society’s expectations are incredibly common,” he says. “It’s easy to internalize the idea that you’re supposed to have it all together.”

Through therapy, Sam helps men challenge those beliefs and reconnect with their authentic selves—learning that emotional awareness is not weakness but a foundation for deeper connection and confidence.

 

Sam’s Advice for Men

If there’s one thing Sam hopes men take away from his work, it’s this:

“Be willing to listen and be open to the possibilities. Experiencing your emotions will open the door to a much deeper connection with life.”

 

Want to work with Sam? Book here.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

Practitioner Spotlight: Brooke Rappaport, PhD

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A Modern Perspective on Mental Health

 

At The Happy Hour, we’re proud to have therapists who bring not only expertise but also fresh perspectives shaped by curiosity, research, and a deep understanding of our world. Brooke Rappaport, PhD embodies this fully. With her progressive approach, Brooke draws from years of academic study, cultural insight, and real-world experience to meet clients where they are and help them thrive.

 

A Lifelong Learner and Connector

Brooke is personable, fun, and endlessly curious—a combination that makes her easy to talk to and deeply relatable. She doesn’t just practice therapy; she lives it through constant learning and engagement with the evolving landscape of mental health. As a professor in the therapy department at Tennessee State University, Brooke trains future therapists as they step into their careers. She also works one-on-one with clients at The Happy Hour, blending her academic expertise with her grounded, approachable style.

 

Championing Women in All Their Forms

Much of Brooke’s work centers on women—exploring what it means to be a woman in today’s world. As a feminist, she embraces all the ways womanhood can look, from the corporate leader to the stay-at-home mom, recognizing the beauty and strength in each. Her approach is inclusive, empowering, and rooted in respect for the diversity of women’s experiences.

 

A Focus on Multicultural Awareness and Allyship

Brooke’s passion for multicultural factors and identity work is grounded in her own self-awareness. “I hold many privileged identities as a white woman,” she shares. “My research on ally development, mixed with intersectional feminism, allows me to connect with anyone and consider how their lived experience and worldview impact their daily life—and why they might be seeking therapy.”

By integrating this lens into her sessions, Brooke ensures that clients feel seen, understood, and supported—no matter their background or story.

 

Why Clients Feel at Home with Brooke

When you meet Brooke, you immediately feel that she “gets it.” Her warmth, openness, and cultural fluency create a safe, affirming space for self-exploration. Whether she’s guiding a client through a personal challenge or mentoring a new therapist, Brooke brings her full presence, knowledge, and progressive spirit to the work.

If you’d like to work with Brooke, you can book with her here.


THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.