Author Archives: The Happy Hour

Five Essentials for Thriving in Uncertain Times

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Life can feel uncertain, heavy, or just out of sync. But what if you had a handful of guiding practices to help you recalibrate—something rooted in science but deeply personal? These five practices can help you reconnect with what makes life feel meaningful and whole.

 

1. Positive Emotion: Savor What’s Good

It’s not about toxic positivity.

This step is about learning to recognize and allow moments of joy, gratitude, and calm—even when life is hard.

Try this:

  • Keep a “3 Good Things” journal each night.
  • Pause to appreciate small pleasures: a warm drink, a favorite song, fresh air.
  • Ask yourself: When do I feel most alive or at peace? How can I make space for more of that?

What’s the science?
Studies show that intentionally cultivating positive emotions can broaden our thinking, improve problem-solving, and build long-term resilience (Fredrickson, 2001).

Recommended read: “Positivity” by Barbara Fredrickson

 

2. Engagement: Lose Yourself in the Moment

This is your “in the zone” state.

It’s when time disappears and you feel fully absorbed in something you love or that stretches you in a meaningful way.

Try this:

  • Revisit a hobby or creative outlet.
  • Set aside phone-free time to be fully present in an activity.
  • Ask yourself: What pulls me in completely? When do I lose track of time—in a good way?

What’s the science?
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s research on “flow” shows that deep engagement boosts satisfaction, motivation, and psychological well-being.

Recommended read: “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

 

3. Relationships: Nurture Real Connection

We’re wired for connection.

You don’t need a huge network. What matters is having a few people who really see you—and for whom you can do the same.

Try this:

  • Reach out to someone you’ve been meaning to call.
  • Express appreciation to someone who’s supported you.
  • Ask yourself: Who brings out the best in me? How can I nurture that bond?

What’s the science?
Studies show strong social ties are linked to better mental health, physical health, and even longevity.

Recommended read: “Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World” by Vivek Murthy

 

Meaning: Anchor to What Matters

This is about purpose.

Not the pressure to “find your passion,” but the quiet sense that your life is connected to something larger—your values, your people, your impact.

Try this:

  • Reflect: What values guide me?
  • Do one small thing today that aligns with those values—help, create, advocate, listen.
  • Ask yourself: What kind of person do I want to be, even in hard moments?

What’s the science?
A strong sense of meaning is associated with greater life satisfaction and lower anxiety and depression.

Recommended read: “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl

 

5. Accomplishment: Celebrate Your Growth

Progress matters—big or small.

Accomplishment isn’t about being perfect. It’s about effort, intention, and resilience.

Try this:

  • Set one goal that feels meaningful (not just productive).
  • Break it into doable steps and celebrate each one.
  • Ask yourself: What did I do today that moved me forward, even just a little?

What’s the science?
Working toward meaningful goals boosts motivation and self-confidence over time.

Recommended read: “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us” by Daniel H. Pink

 

Want to Go Deeper?

These five essentials are inspired by the PERMA model, developed by psychologist Martin Seligman, a pioneer in the field of Positive Psychology. If you’re curious about the research behind these ideas, check out the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center.

Recommended read: “Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being” by Martin E.P. Seligman

 

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

Six Moments You Should Consider Couples or Family Counseling

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When you choose to share your life with someone, it’s essential to create a rhythm of giving, receiving, and experiencing life together. A strong relationship isn’t about keeping score—it’s about mutual support, shared joy, and growing alongside each other.

That’s why couples and family therapy isn’t just for relationships in distress. In fact, seeking therapy proactively can help strengthen your bond, improve communication, and guide you through life’s inevitable transitions with greater ease. Research shows that consistently investing in a relationship—both early on and over time—not only deepens connection but also enhances overall satisfaction and fosters a lasting sense of togetherness.

One cool but often overlooked aspect of couples therapy is that the therapist views the couple as the primary entity to support. While the individuals create the dynamic, the therapist is focused on offering guidance for the larger story and outlook of both people together. There’s really no other type of intervention quite like it. This is why it’s so important to find a therapist who not only has experience but also a genuine passion for working with couples.

Below, we’ll explore key moments when couples and family counseling can be especially beneficial.

 

1. Before Major Commitments

You may feel like you know everything about your partner as you approach an engagement or marriage, but some topics—like finances, family planning, or lifestyle choices—can be difficult to discuss openly. You might feel intimidated by the conversation, unsure how to bring it up without letting emotions or fears get in the way of what you truly want to say.

Research shows that engaging in premarital counseling can help lay a strong foundation for marriage. In fact, a meta-analysis of 20 studies involving over 10,000 couples found that those who participated in premarital counseling had a 31% lower chance of divorce compared to those who did not. Even for long-term partners who don’t plan on getting married, counseling before making major commitments—like moving in together or merging finances—can help set the stage for a healthy, fulfilling future.

In therapy you and your partner can learn the foundational language and tools that can be used time and time again when conversations are serious and big decisions must be made.

 

2. Deciding on Big Life Transitions

Significant life changes, like career shifts, relocations, or decisions about having children, can introduce stress into a relationship. The real challenge is how you both merge your expectations and visions for the future into one shared path. And how do you do that without overpowering each other’s thoughts or perspectives? This can be especially tough if you and your partner are coming from different viewpoints.

Couples therapy offers a valuable opportunity to navigate these changes together, fostering understanding, support, and growth. A therapist can help you explore each other’s values, make collaborative decisions, and manage the stress that comes with big transitions. Therapy also helps you both see the potential impact of one choice over another, allowing for a clearer view of the emotions and values tied to your decisions. With this broader perspective, you and your partner can make the most informed choice for your future.

 

Transitioning to Parenthood

Becoming parents is a beautiful but demanding shift in a relationship. Studies show that 67% of couples experience a decline in relationship satisfaction after having children (Gottman & Gottman, 2017). It’s easy to see why, both of you are taking on new responsibilities and roles, all while undergoing a transformation in your personal identities. It’s a lot to handle—even at the best of times! 

Seeing a therapist can help you share the emotional and practical burdens of this transition with your partner (they aren’t your roommate after all, they are your partner!). A therapist can provide you with the tools and language to navigate co-parenting, while also helping to strengthen your connection amidst these evolving dynamics. Therapy offers a quiet, neutral space where you and your partner can make important decisions about how to raise your child, define your family values, and approach discipline—while also learning about attachment styles and building solid foundations for your child’s development.

 

3. Following a Crisis or Trauma

Difficult life events—such as the loss of a loved one, a serious illness, or financial hardship—can deeply impact even the strongest relationships. Research shows that couples who seek therapy during times of crisis tend to exhibit higher resilience and emotional regulation (Neff & Karney, 2005). The honesty and safety of the therapy space offer a neutral environment where both partners can process their emotions in a healthy way. It allows each person to express their individual experiences with grief or trauma, discover new depths of connection through this shared experience, and ultimately prevent long-term resentment or disconnection.

And that last part is so important. By addressing the pain together, you can prevent the seed of resentment from taking root—something that can pay off in ways you might not fully realize right now.

 

4. When Communication Breakdowns Occur

Struggles with misunderstandings, recurring conflicts, or emotional distance are signs that it might be time for professional support. The Gottman Method teaches that the success of a relationship isn’t about avoiding conflict but about how couples manage it (Gottman, 1999). Couples can either move toward each other with proven strategies and tools, or they can fall into patterns known as The Four Horsemen—spoiler alert: things tend to go much better when you choose the former.

Therapy can help by teaching effective communication techniques, identifying and breaking unhealthy patterns, and strengthening emotional attunement. After all, communication is the bridge to lasting success in a relationship, and like any bridge, it needs care and maintenance. Returning to therapy ensures that your foundation remains strong, allowing for a healthier way to communicate, a deeper emotional connection, and a richer intimacy.

 

5. After Trust Issues or Infidelity

Recovering from a breach of trust or infidelity is undoubtedly challenging, but it is possible. Research shows that with the right therapeutic interventions, many couples can rebuild trust and even create a relationship that’s stronger than before (Glass, 2003). You might be wondering how this is possible after such deep wounds have been inflicted. The key is to rebuild from the inside out—reconnecting your lives and hearts through consistent effort and attunement to one another.

It will take time, but couples counseling can help by creating a safe space for open dialogue, rebuilding emotional and physical intimacy, and establishing trust and accountability.

 

6. For Regular Relationship Check-Ins

Despite all the reasons above to seek therapy, let’s be clear: you don’t need to wait for a crisis to seek support. Just as people go to the doctor for routine check-ups, relationships benefit from periodic counseling to maintain a solid foundation. Studies suggest that couples who engage in ongoing relationship education report higher satisfaction and lower divorce rates (Markman et al., 2010). Consistent therapy sessions can help partners enhance intimacy, strengthen emotional connections, develop new skills for managing stress and conflict, and support continued personal and relational growth. The number of sessions and frequency is up to you and your partner, but one key benefit of regular therapy is that it prevents the idea of “going to therapy” from feeling like a last-ditch effort to save your relationship. In other words, therapy doesn’t have to feel intimidating or scary—it’s simply a way to nurture and strengthen your bond along the way.

 

Couples and family therapy isn’t just about fixing problems—it’s about building a relationship that can withstand life’s inevitable ups and downs. You’ve chosen to do life with your partner, so why not embrace the opportunity to work together and be there for one another? Yes, couples therapy can be a powerful expression of love.

 

If you’re unsure where to start, we now offer free consultation calls to help you explore the best path forward.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

EMDR Prep: Building Emotional Safety

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“I want to try EMDR, but I’m afraid I’ll fall apart if I open that door.”

If that thought has ever crossed your mind, you’re not alone. Many clients who’ve lived through trauma feel both drawn to the idea of healing and terrified of what it might stir up. They often say things like:

“What if I get overwhelmed and can’t stop crying?”
“What if I shut down in session—or worse, outside of it?”
“What if I can’t keep functioning in my daily life while doing this work?”

These aren’t signs of weakness. They’re signs your system is doing what it was designed to do: protect you.

That’s why EMDR therapy doesn’t begin with trauma processing. It begins with something called resource installation— a phase of the work focused entirely on building your sense of emotional safety and resilience, so you can move forward without being overwhelmed.

 

What Is Resource Installation in EMDR?

Resource installation is a phase of EMDR therapy where we help you strengthen internal supports— things like calm, confidence, safety, or protection. These may come from real memories or imaginative experiences, and we reinforce them using bilateral stimulation (like tapping or eye movements).

The goal is simple: to help you feel more grounded and capable before we touch the hard stuff.

 

Why Some People Need More Resourcing Than Others

Some people already have solid internal supports when they arrive in therapy. They may have had safe relationships, done previous therapy, or developed good emotional regulation skills. Their nervous system can tolerate discomfort and stay steady when things get intense. In these cases, resourcing might be brief.

Others—especially those with complex trauma, neglect, or chaotic early environments—may not have had the chance to develop those supports. Their nervous systems may live in a constant state of hypervigilance or shutdown. Resourcing helps create the safety they didn’t get back then—and that they need now to heal.

 

How Resourcing Helps You Stay Safe

Resourcing isn’t optional. It’s the foundation that makes trauma work safe and effective. It helps you:

  • Regulate strong emotions
  • Reduce overwhelm in and between sessions
  • Stay present while revisiting the past
  • Continue functioning in work, family, and daily life
  • Feel empowered and in control of your healing process

You don’t have to fall apart in order to get better.

 

Real-Life Examples of Resource Installation

Here’s what resourcing can actually look like in session—no jargon, just human stories.

 

Jasmine – Creating a Calm Place

Jasmine couldn’t remember ever feeling safe growing up. So we created a new “calm place” together: a quiet forest with soft moss, birdsong, and sunlight. With tapping, we helped her body begin to associate that image with calm. It became a place she could return to whenever things got overwhelming.

 

Marcus – Imagining a Protector

Marcus had never felt emotionally protected. So we imagined someone who could be that for him—a steady, grounded older brother figure standing at his side. Installing that image helped Marcus feel less alone when revisiting painful memories. It gave his nervous system the signal: “You’re not doing this by yourself.”

 

Sam – Remembering a Time He Felt Strong

Sam didn’t think he had any inner strength—until he remembered a solo hiking trip. That memory, of pushing through exhaustion and reaching the summit, became a powerful resource. We installed that feeling of strength before any trauma work began. It anchored him when he needed it most.

 

Rachel – Using a Resource Already in Place

Rachel had a strong support system and years of therapy behind her. She immediately named her resource: sitting on the porch with her partner, wrapped in a blanket, tea in hand. We installed that image just enough to make it easily accessible. Because Rachel already had strong internal support, her system was ready to move into reprocessing without a long preparation phase.

 

You Don’t Have to Rush the Healing

If you’re nervous about starting EMDR because you’re afraid of falling apart—you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. In fact, your nervous system is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do.

That’s why we start with resourcing.
It’s how we build safety together.
It’s how we help your brain do the work—without undoing you in the process.

So take a breath. You can go at your own pace. We’ll go with you.

 

Want to Know More?

Curious about EMDR or wondering whether you’re ready to begin? Feel free to reach out to the studio at 615-953-3934. I’d be happy to talk more about how this process works and whether it might be a good fit for you. Alternatively, book EMDR with me here.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

How to Create a Connection Ritual with Your Partner

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In the busyness of life, it’s easy for meaningful connection to slip to the bottom of the priority list. Work, responsibilities, and the daily grind take over, and suddenly, quality time with your partner feels more like an afterthought than an intention. But deep connection doesn’t just happen—it’s nurtured through small, consistent efforts over time.

Creating a connection ritual doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s not about grand gestures or extravagant plans. It’s about showing up, week after week, with presence and intention. Inspired by Relationship Workbook for Couples by Rachel Stone (2019), here’s a simple six-step guide to help you cultivate a ritual of connection with your partner.

 

Step 1: Set Aside a Dedicated Day & Time Each Week

Consistency is key. Choose a day and time that works for both of you and protect it like an important appointment. This is your time to step away from distractions and be fully present with each other. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—what matters is that you both commit to showing up.

 

Step 2: Identify What Makes You Feel Most Connected

Connection looks different for everyone. Some people feel closest through deep conversations, while others connect through physical touch, shared laughter, or experiencing something new together. Take some time to reflect—what moments make you feel most seen, heard, and valued in your relationship? Let that guide your ritual.

 

Step 3: Reflect on Your ‘Dream Dates’

Think about some of your most memorable dates. What made them special? Maybe it was the sense of adventure, the quiet intimacy, or the joy of trying something new. You don’t have to recreate those dates exactly, but you can bring their essence into your weekly connection time. If spontaneity and fun were key, try something playful. If deep conversations were what stood out, create space for meaningful dialogue.

 

Step 4: Find Shared Interests

Connection deepens when you share experiences that genuinely excite you both. Maybe it’s cooking together, going for a walk, playing a game, or listening to music. If you don’t have an obvious shared interest, explore new activities together—you might be surprised by what you enjoy!

 

Step 5: Keep a Running List of Ideas

Life gets busy, and when you finally have time together, it’s easy to default to the same routine or struggle to think of something to do. Keeping a running list of ideas—conversation starters, games, new activities, or fun date night plans—can help keep things fresh and intentional.

 

Step 6: Stay Committed, Even When It’s Not Perfect

Not every connection time will go as planned. Some weeks might feel more effortless than others, and that’s okay. What matters most is the intention behind it—prioritizing each other, showing up, and making the effort. Over time, these small moments build something much deeper: trust, intimacy, and a foundation that can weather life’s ups and downs.

 

Connection is Built in the Small Moments

Relationships thrive not because of grand gestures, but because of the everyday moments of love, presence, and care. By creating a connection ritual, you’re setting the stage for deeper understanding, intimacy, and joy in your relationship.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.



4 Reasons Why Songwriters Need Connection

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When you have a gift that allows you to give back to others, it’s rare—and it makes the journey worth it. Not everyone is called to create music, but if you are, you know it’s something that resonates deep within. Music has the power to heal—not only those who hear it but also those who create it. However, the business side of music can sometimes make it difficult to stay connected to that feeling, especially when you’re trying to turn your passion into a career.

That’s why I created Songwriters Connect, a support group hosted here at The Happy Hour. This group is designed to help guide you through the industry while offering a space to connect with others on a deeper level. Here are 4 reasons why you might benefit from joining us:

 

1. You’re Looking to Build a Community

Whether you’ve just moved to Nashville or have been in the industry for years, finding like-minded people who can help you on your journey is key. Building community takes time, genuine effort, and consistency—and it’s not always easy to find. With so many events to attend, it can be overwhelming to know where to start. If you’ve been here a while and feel like you’re stuck in a cycle—going to the same shows, meeting the same people, and losing the spark—this group is perfect for you. If you’re looking for a fresh environment to reignite your passion or share your light with others, you’ll find it here.

 

2. You Want to Share Your Music and Find Collaborators

At Songwriters Connect, we give everyone a chance to share a song (if they feel inclined). It’s a great way to get those creative juices flowing and hear what other music is out there. Open to all genres, this is a great opportunity if you’re looking to meet more people in the songwriting community and find co-writers or collaborators.

 

3. You Want to Network in an Authentic, Connected Way

There are plenty of networking opportunities out there, but some feel exclusive or overcrowded. The ones that seem genuinely worth your time and energy can be hard to find. So, what do you want from networking? Whether you’re hoping to form a band, play more shows, write with more people, or simply share stories and gain inspiration, Songwriters Connect offers an authentic space to connect. Networking doesn’t have to be about showcasing your talents or achievements—it’s about genuine connection, and letting everything else fall into place.

 

4. You Want to Understand the Role Music Plays in Your Life

At some point, you may have reached the crossroads where music feels like your career or even your life’s purpose. And while these two things can coexist, they don’t always have to. You can create music as your purpose without making it your career, and vice versa. Some of us may find ourselves needing to remind ourselves why music is our purpose, while others may need help reconciling the two. It’s easy to lose sight of this balance, but it’s important to remember that your connection to your craft is an ebb and flow, just like everything else in life. Trust your process and trust your art.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

Songwriters Connect is all about creating a space for authentic connections, support, and growth. If any of these reasons resonate with you, we’d love to have you join us. Let’s build community, share our music, and support each other on this creative journey!

SAVE YOUR SPOT

The Mind’s Innate Ability to Heal

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EMDR, Mindfulness, and the Wisdom of the Body

 

The Brain as a Self-Healing System

Our brains are not just thinking machines; they are also designed to heal. At every moment, our minds are making connections, integrating experiences, and updating our internal narrative in ways that help us survive and even thrive. When we experience distressing or traumatic events, our brains attempt to process them, linking them to past experiences, resources, and lessons learned.

But sometimes, when an experience is too overwhelming, our brain’s processing system gets disrupted. Instead of integrating the memory in a way that helps us move forward, it remains “stuck” in its original, raw form—full of fear, pain, or self-doubt. As Thich Nhat Hanh said, “The past is not in the past. It is in you, in your way of breathing, walking, and perceiving life.” Trauma doesn’t just disappear with time; it lingers in our nervous system, shaping our thoughts, emotions, and bodily responses until it is fully processed. This is where healing modalities like EMDR come in, helping the brain do what it was always meant to do: process, integrate, and restore balance.

 

EMDR and the Natural Healing Process

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) isn’t about inserting something new into the brain; it’s about unlocking the brain’s own ability to heal itself. Much like how our bodies work to heal a wound, our minds strive to resolve distressing experiences and return to a state of equilibrium. EMDR activates this natural process by engaging the brain’s adaptive information processing (AIP) system, allowing it to connect previously unprocessed memories with more adaptive, healing insights.

This means that, deep down, our minds want to heal. As Francine Shapiro, the creator of EMDR, put it, “People aren’t broken. Their past experiences are unprocessed.” EMDR doesn’t force healing—it simply clears the path for it.

 

The Body’s Wisdom: Mindfulness, Somatic Healing, and Self-Repair

Thich Nhat Hanh often taught that mindfulness, especially mindful breathing, connects us to the body’s innate wisdom. When we take a deep breath, we are doing more than just filling our lungs— we are grounding ourselves, calming our nervous system, and creating space for healing.

In the same way that EMDR helps the brain integrate and resolve old wounds, mindfulness helps regulate our emotional and physiological state. Every breath we take is an opportunity for self-repair. Every moment of awareness is an act of self-compassion.

But healing doesn’t only happen in the mind—it happens in the body. Trauma is stored not just as memories but as physical sensations, tensions, and patterns of movement. Approaches like yoga, somatic experiencing (SE), and movement therapy help release trauma that words alone cannot reach. Engaging in expressive therapies—such as art, music, and dance—can also facilitate healing by allowing emotions to be processed through creativity and movement rather than only cognition.

This is why mindfulness, somatic therapies, and trauma-healing approaches like EMDR complement each other so beautifully. Both recognize that healing is not something we have to chase— it’s something that naturally unfolds when we create the right conditions. But healing is not always comfortable. As Pema Chödrön reminds us, “Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” Facing our past can feel unsettling, but it is also the pathway to freedom.

 

The Power of Trusting Your Own Mind

When we understand that healing is an intrinsic function of the mind and body, it changes how we approach growth, recovery, and well-being. It shifts us from a mindset of “fixing what is broken” to one of supporting what is already working.

The next time you feel stuck in an old emotional loop, take a moment to consider this: your mind and body are already working toward resolution. Whether through mindful breathing, EMDR, movement-based therapies, or simply allowing yourself the space to process, you are engaging in one of the most remarkable aspects of being human—the ability to heal, adapt, and thrive.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 


Therapist, Lauren Kelley draws upon her wealth of expertise in diverse modalities like EMDR, attachment-based therapy, and CBT to provide personalized, transformative care.

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Grieving the Loss of a Fantasy Parent: Letting Go and Healing

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Many people unconsciously hold onto the fantasy of a loving, nurturing, and attuned parent—a version of their mother or father that they desperately needed but never truly had. David Celani’s Leaving Home explores how individuals cling to this fantasy as a way of preserving hope and avoiding the pain of unmet childhood needs. However, the process of emotional growth often requires acknowledging this painful reality and grieving the loss of the parent we wished for but never had.

 

Why Grieving the Fantasy Parent is Necessary

Grieving the loss of a fantasy parent is not about blaming or vilifying our real parents. Instead, it is about validating the pain of unmet needs and moving toward healing. When we fail to acknowledge this loss, we may remain stuck in patterns of seeking approval, repeating dysfunctional relationship dynamics, or feeling an underlying sense of unworthiness. By consciously grieving, we can integrate our experiences, release unrealistic expectations, and cultivate self-compassion.

 

Recognizing the Fantasy Parent

Many people are unaware that they are still holding onto the fantasy of a perfect parent. Here are some signs that this dynamic may be at play:

  • A persistent hope that your parent will one day change and become the loving, supportive figure you needed.
  • An inability to accept their limitations, leading to repeated disappointment.
  • Feeling emotionally stuck—oscillating between resentment and longing.
  • Seeking out relationships where you unconsciously try to receive the love and validation you never got from a parent.

 

The Role of Grief Rituals in Healing

Grief is not just an emotion—it is a process. Engaging in intentional grief rituals can help make the loss feel real, provide a sense of closure, and create space for self-nurturing. Here are some powerful ways to acknowledge and grieve the loss of a fantasy parent:

1. Writing a Letter to the Fantasy Parent

Write a letter expressing what you needed from them, what you wished they had done differently, and how their absence of attunement affected you. You can choose to keep the letter as a reminder of your truth, or you can symbolically release it by burning or tearing it up.

2. Creating a Memorial Space

Set up a small space with symbolic objects—a childhood photo, a candle, or something representing the idealized parent. Spend time acknowledging your grief, and when you feel ready, dismantle the space as a way of saying goodbye.

3. A Releasing Ceremony

Write down unfulfilled hopes, painful memories, or anything you are ready to release. Place these writings in a fire, bury them in the ground, or float them away in water as a way of letting go.

4. Symbolic Reparenting

Hold an object representing your inner child, such as a stuffed animal or a comforting blanket. Speak affirmations to yourself, such as:

  • “I see you, I hear you, I will take care of you.”
  • “You deserved love and attunement, and I will give that to you now.”
  • “You are worthy, just as you are.”

5. Movement-Based Rituals

Grief is stored in the body, and movement can help release it. Consider a slow walk in nature, a candle-lighting meditation, or gentle yoga with an intention of honoring your grief and inviting healing.

 

Moving Forward: Becoming Your Own Nurturing Parent

Letting go of the fantasy parent is not about giving up on love—it is about reclaiming it for yourself. As you grieve, you can begin to step into the role of the attuned, compassionate, and loving figure that you always needed. This might look like:

  • Setting boundaries with parents who continue to be emotionally unavailable.
  • Seeking out relationships that provide healthy, reciprocal care.
  • Practicing self-compassion and self-care as acts of reparenting.
  • Finding community and therapy to support your healing journey.

The process of grieving a fantasy parent is not easy, but it is profoundly liberating. By acknowledging the truth, honoring the loss, and choosing to nurture yourself, you create space for genuine healing, deeper self-acceptance, and emotional freedom.

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to explore these grief rituals and take one small step toward letting go of the fantasy—so that you can fully embrace the life that is waiting for you.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.


Therapist, Lauren Kelley draws upon her wealth of expertise in diverse modalities like EMDR, attachment-based therapy, and CBT to provide personalized, transformative care.

BOOK WITH LAUREN

A Purpose-Driven Life Enhances Well-Being

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In the world’s Blue Zones—regions known for longevity and well-being—purpose isn’t just a concept; it’s a way of life woven into daily routines, traditions, and community roles. Studies show that having a strong sense of purpose can reduce stress, strengthen relationships, and build resilience, all of which contribute to a longer, healthier life. But purpose isn’t reserved for these unique cultures—it’s something we can all cultivate in small but powerful ways. By making intentional choices each day, from morning reflections to acts of kindness, you can create a life filled with meaning and fulfillment. Here’s how to get started.

 

Blue Zones emphasize purpose as part of the cultural fabric:

Reduced Stress: A clear sense of purpose reduces cortisol levels, which lowers the risk of chronic diseases.

Stronger Relationships: Purpose helps individuals stay connected to their families, communities, and traditions.

Increased Resilience: People with purpose are better equipped to adapt to life’s challenges.

 

Cultural Practices Supporting Purpose in Blue Zones

Ikigai (Okinawa, Japan):
 “A reason to wake up in the morning.” Okinawans are encouraged to discover and pursue their passions.

Plan de Vida (Nicoya, Costa Rica):
 “Life plan.” Nicoyans define their goals and roles in the community, fostering a deep sense of belonging.

Intergenerational Roles:
 Elders are highly valued and take active roles in family and community life, giving them a sense of significance and contribution.

 

Transform your daily routine into a meaningful journey with small, intentional actions.

Reflect on Your Passions:

Ask yourself, “What brings me joy? How can I contribute to others? How can I align my days activities with what matters to me most??”

Set an Intention Each Morning:

Start your day with clarity and focus. Take 5 minutes to identify one thing you’d like to prioritize. Write down a mantra or affirmation to guide your mindset.

Pause for Gratitude Check-ins:

Anchor your day with moments of appreciation. Set alarms for two or three specific times to pause and reflect on one thing you’re grateful for. Write your gratitude in a journal or say it aloud.

Create Micro-Adventures:

Infuse excitement into your routine. Explore a new café, take a different route to work, or visit a nearby park during lunch. Treat mundane errands like a mini treasure hunt.

Engage in Small Acts of Kindness:

Purpose grows when we help others. Compliment a colleague or stranger. Send a thoughtful text to a friend or family member. Volunteer or mentor to make a difference and deepen your sense of purpose. 

Embrace the Present Moment:

Find joy in the now. Practice mindfulness: Focus on your breathing for one minute. Notice the sights, sounds, and textures around you while walking, eating, or working. Be present and connect in relationships with people who share your values and passions. 

End Your Day with Reflection:

Connect the dots to see how meaningful your day was. Ask yourself: “What brought me joy today? What could I improve tomorrow?” Write down a highlight of the day in a notebook or app.

 

By implementing these steps, you’ll uncover opportunities to infuse meaning and purpose into even the busiest of days. 

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 

Coach, Erin Kaminski, our resident Blue Zones expert, can help you cultivate a life filled with purpose, community, and longevity.

Whether you’re seeking clarity or a personalized game plan, Erin will guide you in creating a lifestyle that aligns with your values and goals.

WORK WITH ERIN

A Fun and Connective Couples Experience

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Couples Retreat • February 8th • 10 am – 3pm

 

Great partnerships don’t happen by accident; it takes intentional time 365 days a year. Let’s make this year easier on you and create better habits that will better your relationship. Important to note: This is not intensive! We are here to make this fun and connective. If you want the best gift for your partner for valentines day it is to nurture your relationship! Here are a few topics we will be covering on our couples retreat: 

 

Topic 1: Understanding

Have you ever had a difficult time understanding where your partner is coming from? Or maybe you thought you had a good idea of who your partner is, but you feel like they’ve changed? This section of our retreat will help you dig deep into your partner’s inner world and start the practice of asking questions. We all come to our relationships with past experiences that shape our worldview, and we are all constantly evolving. While it’s not always possible to agree with your partner, it’s easier to collaborate when you stay curious about your partner. 

 

Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.

– Ursula K. Le Guin

 

Topic 2: The Importance of Shared Responsibility

Division of labor is one of the top subjects that couples have arguments over. Couples come to a relationship with different expectations and standards for responsibilities in the relationship. Oftentimes it is difficult to navigate these differences. In this section, we will discuss and clarify the roles of each person in the relationship and create a tangible game plan moving forward. 

 

Topic 3: Fighting Fair

What if conflict could actually make your relationship stronger, instead of something that you push under the rug or explode over? Most people don’t have a blueprint on how to fight with their partner, and find themselves slipping into hurtful patterns. This section of the retreat will help couples identify common patterns in conflict, how to interrupt those patterns, and how to repair the relationship after a conflict. We will also work on preventative measures- conflict is inevitable but escalation can be prevented. 

 

Topic 4: Connection

Connection in a relationship provides benefits such as emotional support, reduced feelings of loneliness and contributes to overall well being. Connection in romantic relationships creates a feeling of trust and understanding and allows couples to navigate life’s challenges more effectively. In this section, we will discuss different aspects of connection in a relationship and do an activity that focuses on building a stronger and deeper connection with your partner. 

 

Perspective shift: Loving is about learning. Even when you think you have your side of the story figured out, all it takes is a reframe. In other words, with the proper tools, there’s always more to uncover to heal or strengthen your bond. Sometimes the easiest way to gain a deeper understanding is to shift perspective. It takes a lot of emotional awareness and putting aside your ego to be able to meet your partner where they are at. But once it happens you realize you aren’t against each other. Love is an action, a skill, not all parts of it come natural, but we are here to make it easier. We are here to guide and teach you how to shift perspective and regain closeness. 

 

Special Offer: Discount for Marriage & Family License!

As an added bonus, this retreat will count towards a $60 discount on your marriage and family license! Not only will you walk away with a stronger relationship, but you’ll also get a fantastic deal on your license. 

 

No matter where you are in your relationship—whether you’re newlyweds, have been together for years, or anywhere in between—our Couples Retreat hosted here at The Happy Hour on Saturday, February 8th from 10am-3pm is designed for all couples looking to deepen their connection and strengthen their partnership.

Unlock Your Intuition with Tarot

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If you’re someone who’s naturally in touch with your emotions and loves self-reflection, tarot might be the perfect way to channel your instincts and dive deeper into your subconscious. More than just a mystical practice, tarot is a tool for understanding yourself and gaining clarity on your path.

 

Tarot 201 with Massey Armistead & The Happy Hour

After the incredible success of our Tarot 101 workshops, we’re thrilled to have Massey Armistead back leading us through Tarot 201—an advanced course designed to take your tarot practice deeper and expand your intuitive abilities! 

If you’ve mastered the basics and are ready to unlock the full potential of your tarot readings, this is the perfect next step. Massey will help you dive into the more nuanced aspects of tarot, blending traditional techniques with new methods to enhance your connection to the cards.

 

What You’ll Learn in Tarot 201:

Advanced Tarot Interpretations:

Building on the foundation of Tarot 101, we’ll explore how to interpret complex card combinations, deepen your intuition, and gain more detailed insights from your readings. You’ll learn how to read for others in addition to yourself, sharpening your ability to offer guidance and clarity.

The Role of Astrology and Chakras:

Astrology and chakras are key components in the tarot world, and in Tarot 201, you’ll learn how to incorporate them into your practice. Understand the astrological associations of each card, and learn how the chakras relate to different aspects of your readings to enhance your interpretations and energy work.

Cleansing and Protecting Your Tarot Deck:

A crucial step in tarot practice is maintaining the energy of your deck. We’ll show you various methods for cleansing your cards—ensuring that your readings stay clear, accurate, and aligned with your intention. You’ll also learn how to protect your deck from negative energy, keeping it in top shape for insightful readings.

Reading for Others:

While Tarot 101 is focused on self-reflection, Tarot 201 takes you beyond that to read for others. We’ll discuss the ethics of tarot readings, how to communicate messages with clarity and compassion, and how to hold space for those you read for. You’ll gain confidence in your ability to read tarot for friends, family, or clients.

 

A Personal Note: 

“I use Tarot as a ritual, mostly at night, when my mind starts to overflow. It helps me ground myself and infuse my week or month with meaning. Pulling a card and journaling about it has allowed me to uncover parts of my life that I’ve left in the shadows. It’s interesting—and sometimes hard to remember—that what’s most present on my mind isn’t always what needs to be magnified. The real beauty of Tarot lies in the way it reveals the secrets you’ve been hiding from yourself. I will sometimes pride myself on being in touch with my own emotions, but Tarot has its way of checking me, making me remember there’s always so much more to uncover.”

 – Caroline Culver, The Happy Hour Operations Manager

 

As always this is one of the most fun and inspiring events hosted here at the Studio. You really don’t want to miss out. Join us on Thursday, January 23rd from 6:00-7:15pm to dive deeper into yourself and learn how to use your natural instincts and intuition to better your life and others! You don’t have to have joined us for Tarot 101 to attend.*