Category Archives: Mental Health

The Beauty of Mindful Moments

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Your alarm sounds and autopilot kicks in. You get out of bed, put on a pot of coffee, jump in the shower, get dressed, grab a bite to eat as you hurry to start your work day. You get into a flow, working through your endless to-do list, relying on coffee to keep your battery charged. Doing everything you can to feel good about being devoted to “the job”. At the end of the day, when it’s time to check out, you feel too mentally exhausted to do anything that fills you up before you fall asleep and do it all over again tomorrow.

 

Let’s take a second to think about this. Our current state of navigating constant change and uncertainty has left us feeling consumed and stressed by expectations we’re supposed to live up to. Simply making it through the day feels like an achievement in itself.

 

Do you experience this kind of reality? How do you shift to bringing life and purpose back into your days? By giving attention to self. Mindful moments allow us to channel productivity and progress in the direction of wellbeing, by focusing on small, present moments of time, versus adding another thing to your to-do list.

 

Ask yourself this question, what do I want to experience today? If your answer is calm, peace, quiet, and de-escalation, then these precious moments called mindfulness are for you. Now ask yourself, am I open to something new, different and enlightening? If your answer is yes, then light up your day today with a little something for yourself that will only cost you moments. Here’s how we do it.

 

Take some time to think about what you truly enjoy, you can make a list or just apply thought. (examples:  sunshine, music, favorite colors, scents, sports)

 

Reflect on what your day-to-day is like, and come up with the best time or way to have your mindful moments. (examples:  mornings before starting your day, before bed, during a lunch break).

 

Then begin. At your desired time, intentionally bring into thought that which you enjoy.  Allow yourself to be in a comfortable or stable position whether standing or sitting.  Visualize this or physically look at it, touch, taste or smell, depending on what it is.  Allow yourself to dwell upon it, notice its nuance with direct attention. Does it shine, is it soft, is it cold or warm? 

 

As you engage that favorite color, melody of sound, calming scent, allow yourself to breathe, noticing the inhale and exhale while engaging something that brings subtle joy and feels good. Just for a moment, allow the presence of subtle joy and breath.

 

The more we do this, the better we get at receiving calm. Quieting the constant chatter of our thoughts and dimming the escalation of the hustle and bustle of our environments. Instead of rushing back to your to-do list, take a pause to experience calm and quiet. Finding the joy in present moments, appreciating the little things.

 

Give yourself this stop, this pause, as often as you can throughout the day and allow it to grow into your personal feel good moments.

 

Need Help Developing Your Mindfulness Practice?

Join us for Meditation Off The Mat, where you’ll learn to bring meditative moments into your day-to-day, no mat, fancy poses, or app required!

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What life coaching can do for you

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If you are looking for a space to process your past, understand the effects of an experience, dive deeper into an emotion, or heal from a trauma, then therapy is the exact right place for you.  But, I have found that often, people use therapy for everyday obstacles, like decision making, communicating, navigating relationships, life transitions, or even for a non-judgemental place to talk with someone. Let me be clear, therapy is a vital and necessary resource for many people. I just think that sometimes people go to therapy as an automatic choice, without even considering coaching as an option. So I am going to give you a breakdown, using examples, to show you what life coaching can do for you. 

 

Let’s start by understanding what coaching is. Jill Manaco absolutely nails the definition of what coaching is:

“Coaching is set apart by the way a coach approaches a conversation with a client. Coaches do not teach but help you through a process of discovery by using active listening skills, asking powerful questions, expanding thought processes, identifying limited beliefs, designing action steps and following up. 

  • Coaches don’t talk, they listen.
  • Coaches don’t give information, they ask questions.
  • Coaches don’t offer ideas, they generate ideas from clients.
  • Coaches don’t share their story, they tap into the client’s experience.
  • Coaches don’t present solutions, they expand the client’s thinking.
  • Coaches don’t give recommendations, they empower clients to choose.”

 

Now that you have a clearer idea of a coach’s approach, you might be asking yourself “How do I choose between therapy and coaching?” When deciding what avenue to choose, the first question I encourage you to ask yourself is: What am I hoping to get out of this session or sessions? 

 

Here’s an example: a work decision might be really stressing you out. Maybe you are plotting out your small business’ marketing plan for the upcoming year. This sets the tone for the rest of the year. You don’t know how to navigate it and the whole experience is causing immense stress, causing you to lose sleep and affecting your day to day.  You might think– “I should go to a therapist.” Right? 

 

Welllll maybe… it depends. Your therapist can help with your stress response, but ultimately is not going to take the situation away. While stress management is totally within the wheelhouse of a therapist, marketing planning and strategy is not. This is where a coach would be PERFECT. Like Christa Booker, she is an absolute WHIZ at business coaching and has years in consulting for marketing and planning. She also is an expert at mindfulness practices, tools that you can use in the moment when a stressful situation occurs. Working with a coach in this case would look like being empowered to make decisions that are both strategic and authentic. That means that the coach would work with you to generate ideas rather than telling you what to do without your input. All of the coaches at The Happy Hour believe that you have the answers within you. Sometimes it just takes a conversation to dig in and find them.

 

See how asking yourself what you need is ultimately so helpful?

 

Just like therapy, the frequency at which you go to coaching matters. When going to coaching, one of the biggest pieces of advice I can recommend is avoiding the “one and done” approach (lol, we aren’t that good). Similar to the mindset of going to therapy, working with a coach is a process. Yes, you will walk away with your compass pointing a little more north, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll have the whole thing mapped out. 

 

Example time.

Let’s say you had a brutal break up 6 months ago. After some time and self healing you are finally ready to date again, but you have no idea where to start. You want to get back out there, but you want to do it in the right way. And let’s be honest, your friends have given you terrible advice up to this point. 

 

A coach (ehem, yours truly) can guide you through learning about your values in a relationship, deciphering what you are looking for in a partner, how attachment styles can cause relationships to thrive or die, how to set and honor boundaries, how to put yourself out there, heck, how to even set up a dating profile that actually represents who you truly are. The areas in which a coach can help you are numerous. But let me say, we are not going to get through all of this in one session. What we will do in the first session, is set you up on the right path, one that involves all of the resources and support you need to take the first step. This is where being a part of our Whole You coaching program would establish and encourage massive growth. By having that wrap around care, you are truly supported in mind, body, and spirit during a time when all three of those are being put to the test.

 

Maybe you’re ready for a big life change. Possibly you’ve just gone through the transition from working full-time into retirement, or you feel restless or unfulfilled in your day. Authenticity coaches, like Clara, have years of experience guiding individuals through the process of discovering their passions, mapping their values, learning to trust and listen to themself, and ultimately uncovering their truest self. Coaches like Clara, can actually walk with you through the process by sending you resources throughout the week and checking in to help you stay accountable. This is another example of where Whole You is the best fit (next cohort starts in June!). 

 

So those were three fairly specific examples, but what about getting help with the everyday stuff? Well, all of our coaches are uniquely qualified to help with this because they operate from the present moment to help orient you and help you discover what step is next. Like Erin, she has worked with people on how to make friends as an adult, navigating a tough conversation, learning to make decisions that feel good in your body and your mind, and understanding how to prioritize your schedule in order to find greater fulfillment in your day. I think that one thing coaches are really good at is understanding the importance of the first small step . It is really easy to get wrapped up in the big picture, but the tiny, small actions that happen everyday, is the difference in becoming who you want to be. Or as I like to call it, ‘showing up’.

 

I don’t blame people for not knowing how coaching can help them. Let’s be honest, therapy has just started to be recognized and valued for what it’s worth. The great part about The Happy Hour is, both therapists and coaches work under one roof. Actually, therapy and coaching work great together. Using information from our past experiences can help us make more informed decisions for our present and our future. Our staff can help you when trying to determine what’s best for you, so you don’t have to decide alone. Most importantly, if you are talking to someone about your mental wellness, you’re doing the right thing. We just want to make sure that you get the most out of your time here.

 

Are You Ready to Transform Your Life?

Consider this: feeling grounded, confident and unshakeable by building a lifestyle that uniquely supports your total health. Encompassing the four areas of health: mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual, the Whole You program will lead you through a 90-day lifestyle evolution.

LEARN MORE + SAVE YOUR SPOT HERE

What is EMDR?

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You know when you feel like you have done a lot of work on yourself; you’ve spent hours in therapy, read all the self-help books on the shelf and whatever else to care for yourself and still do not feel quite right? There can be more layers to discover and process through. These unhealed wounds or negative self-beliefs keep us stuck in old ways of living. EMDR is a helpful tool to work through some of those deeply rooted issues.

 

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, and it is a form of trauma therapy that allows for us to find freedom from old thinking patterns that are not particularly helpful to us. At one point, they may have served or protected us, but now, they are preventing us from succeeding in certain areas of life. Therapy and EMDR enable us to examine where we sabotage, disconnect from, and disable ourselves. It shows us where we hold ourselves back and promotes new pathways of thinking where we can be more mindful and present in the world.

 

EMDR is an eight-phase treatment.

Here’s what you can expect during EMDR therapy:

 

Phase 1: History and Treatment Planning

Your therapist will determine if you’re a good fit for EMDR, and help you identify which traumas you will focus on.

 

Phase 2: Preparation

Your therapist will ensure you’re able to handle emotional distress and may teach you a variety of mindfulness and stress management techniques that you can use during the session, but also going forward in your life.

 

Phases 3-6: Assessment, Desensitization, Installation, and Body Scan

This is when you process the target memory or trauma using bi-lateral stimulation including eye movements, taps and tones. Your therapist will talk you through visualizing the memory, feeling the negative and/or positive beliefs attached to it, as well as any emotions that arise or sensations present in your body.

 

Phase 7: Closure

Here comes your homework! Your therapist will ask you to keep a journal of any feelings related to the processed memory that come up after your session, and will encourage you to use the stress management skills you learned in phase two. It can be helpful to note which stress-management skills worked for you!

 

Phase 8: Reevaluation

Your next session with your therapist will begin with a discussion of your journal, and assessing the progress made so far.

 

If you are wondering where exactly to start, consider therapy as a great place to start. Therapy is the door to start recognizing ways in which you are impacted each day. From your thinking to your emotions and your actions, you can name changes that are needed to gain awareness and accommodate what you’ve learned. Then, if your therapist suggests EMDR, this would be a secondary gain to your mental wellness. It’s that longed for and awaited health you have wanted. You are worth investing in yourself.

What Grounds Me as a Mother

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I will never forget the feeling. I was sitting in the bathroom of the hospital room in a postpartum haze. I could hear my husband and the nurse talking jovially in the other room as they discussed discharge instructions for my newborn baby girl. I was quietly sobbing in the bathroom as hormones and fear took over. I didn’t want to leave the safety of the nurses and care team to attempt to keep this child alive. Alone. I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. 

 

In the years after college, my big group of friends became career oriented, moved to different cities and ran in new circles in our 20’s. We saw each other occasionally at weddings as we started to marry, and at couples’ Christmas parties. At the end of our 20’s, we all started finding out we were pregnant within months of each other. The baby showers started and we all gathered and shared the excitement and nerves for what we were about to experience. The birth announcements via group text came and conversations about bottles and breastfeeding commenced. We were all simultaneously experiencing this new version of our lives, and all simultaneously experiencing the overwhelming need for connection and support. There was an unexplainable need we had for each other. We started Friday “play dates” while our babies laid (sometimes) quietly in our arms as we discussed and connected over the nuances of motherhood. As I went back to work, I found myself requesting Fridays as a work from home day with my daughter just so I could continue these play dates with these friends in the same stage of motherhood as me. I couldn’t imagine getting through my weeks without them. 

 

Life Coach, Christa Booker with her kids.

Life Coach, Christa Booker with her kids.

 

I cannot begin to describe the importance this group of women has held for me. We are now almost 11 years in, and the experiences we have had together have formed a bond that I never knew was possible. There have been incredible times like holidays, birthday parties, first days of school, adoptions and births of 2nd, 3rd and even 4th babies. We have had Monday night mommy dance parties, lunch dates, Christmas parties, birthday celebrations, and even a girl trip to Vegas. We have also experienced tears over kindergarten, kiddo broken arms, behavioural issues, car accidents, marital problems, cancer diagnosis, the death of parents and even the death of one of the children. And through it all we were all just there – for the good, bad and ugly. 

 

Throughout the years things have changed. We all have evolving careers, kid sports, new friends and different life paths. Some relationships grew stronger, some grew apart. We still share the occasional group text, lunches and celebrations. We are all busy with life. But on the occasional times that we are able to get together, it is like no one has missed a beat. This group of women will forever take up real estate in my heart and will always be a gift that I never knew I needed, but I am immensely grateful for.  

 

Whenever a new mom asks me for advice, I always say the same thing. Find some other moms to connect to. Ideally find the group that shows up with messy hair and tear streaks that will be truthful about how hard and beautiful the role of motherhood is. The support and compassion of another mom is invaluable and priceless.

You actually DON’T have to do it alone. 

 

The content of this blog is for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship.

 

Starting September 20th, we are offering a 7-session Moms Group Series with Christa. Feel free to show up with messy hair and a tear streaked face if that is where you are.

We will be guiding you through discussion topics such as parental burnout, perfectionist parenting, and much more. Most importantly, we will just be there for you to hold space – for the good, the bad and the ugly. 

Learn more and sign up here

 

Work Life Balance

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For most people, the first part of January is always a transition and can be overwhelming. Trying to fit in all the things we have to do, what we want to do, as well as self-care in our 24 hours can be a lot to sort through. What if you add a layer and incorporate work into this story? Talk about juggling! We try to balance it out, but it tends to lean one way or another, and can  feel like a losing battle.

 

You may be familiar with the term, work/life balance. It is usually defined as the amount of time you spend doing your job compared with the amount of time you spend with your family and doing the things you enjoy. The term, work/life balance, has a lot of weight. Balance means 50/50, so does that mean 50% of my time is work and 50% personal time? For many that is not realistic, wanted, or even possible to maintain. Newer terms such as work-life blend, work-life harmony, and work-family balance, have been created to shift away from the “balancing act” to looking at these two distinct parts of life.  

 

So which term is right? 

 

Instead of trying to define it, I suggest thinking about how it’s making you feel. Ask yourself:

“Does the life I’m living make me feel content, excited, and satisfied; or is it making me feel overwhelmed, not enough, or unhappy?”

 

If striving to achieve the balance act is no longer working for you, I encourage you to think about it as a journey- a continuous exercise that requires you to assess circumstances, be self-aware, and make the necessary tweaks to support you in the ever-changing experience that is life.

 

As we head into another year where many of us are still working from home, it’s important to have tools to support you along your journey. January brings the opportunity to restart. How can we begin to shift our thinking around what balance means, or challenge if it is a realistic notion? Below are some steps to get you started in understanding where you are and where you want to be.

 

Understanding Your Values:

Values are your principles or standards of behavior- the things you consider important in life. When our actions reflect our values, we feel good about what we are doing. However, when we do things that are contradictory to our values, we can feel frustrated and even angry. Taking the time to define and understand our values can help give clarity and allow for shifting priorities when we feel out-of-balance. If you are unclear on what your values are, ask yourself what makes you feel good and what is important to you in life? Take 3-5 minutes to journal what comes to mind. Identify the top three words that best resonate with you.

 

Setting Boundaries:

Creating boundaries is an empowering act of self-care that protects your time, energy, and emotional well-being. A lack of boundaries can lead to tension, misunderstanding, and resentment, especially when we are trying to do all the things for all of the people in our lives. Begin by identifying when a boundary needs to be set. Once you’ve decided upon and set the boundary, communicate the boundary to the appropriate parties, and recognize when your boundary is being crossed, so you can course-correct and possibly communicate some more.

 

Finding Empowerment:

Exercising choice is one of the most empowering acts we can do as individuals. When you believe you have little or no choice in how you live your life or what you can do with your life, it can often lead to a little or no satisfaction. It’s important to make choices with a clear understanding of its impact on those around us and most importantly ourselves. As you begin to better define how all facets of life can work together, look for opportunities every day to make small, meaningful choices that support you, and bring you closer to your preferred outcome.

 

Defining Your Journey:

Gaining clarity on what you want for yourself is the most important step toward identifying and implementing how you want to work and live. Take some time to assess which direction you want your work-life balance journey to lead, as well as how it will feel once you get there. Your path should be based on what is most important to you at any given time. Find ways, every day, to make choices that support you moving in the direction that you want to go.

 

Checking In With Yourself:

As with any journey, circumstances and priorities change. By doing continual check points, you can help shift and adapt your professional and personal life to one that works best for you. Bringing awareness of your emotional state is important to determine the changes you want to make in your work and in your life. 

 

Remember that the work life dance doesn’t mean that everything is happening at the same time, all the time, or that you have to carve out time in equal buckets. It’s about fitting the important pieces together in a way that avoids burnout and promotes a sense of fulfillment and equilibrium.

 

Work With Erin

You can work with Erin by booking a coaching session here, or joining our upcoming book club.

Change and Authenticity

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“Rip up the maps. Burn them. Let them fly. Give thanks for all the well-meaning advice you’ve been given. Start afresh. Go against what you’ve been taught if you need to. It may feel uncomfortable, but that’s only because it’s new.

— KRIS FRANKEN

 

Laura* walked into my office and immediately broke into tears. “I don’t know what to do! Everything is changing and I feel like I’ve lost myself.” I felt for Laura. She had just been terminated due to COVID restructuring and took a job doing something she wasn’t passionate about. After holding space for her intense emotions, I asked some deeper questions to find out exactly what was triggering her feeling of inauthenticity. Together, we were able to determine a few root issues that were bigger than her unexpected career change.

If you’re like me and Laura, we thrive on a plan. Although I’ve made many strides in trusting myself through my own work, I often feel thrown-off when my ideas of what should happen, don’t. A pandemic certainly wasn’t in anyone’s plan, and we were all forced to pivot. Though we can never control many aspects that lead to life transitions, a strong trust in yourself will make all the difference in how you are able to handle any change.

So, how can you be more authentic? How can you safeguard yourself from extra stress and pain when things don’t go according to plan? What can you do to fully trust yourself?

 

Know what you value and what you believe.

Changes, while difficult, allow us the space to explore what we truly value and want out of life. What expectations do we have for ourselves that are based on society, family, or friend’s values, and not our own? Is the change difficult because there is tension between our values and our reality?

What is our inner critic saying?

Our inner voice is a powerful tool that can either help us grow (the coach) or hold us back from our true selves (the critic). The inner critic can instill self-doubt and fear, particularly in times of change. I love to guide my clients in the transition from inner critic to inner coach. We work together to explore what core beliefs and negative thoughts are working against their trust in themselves.

Sit with the sh*t. (or alternatively- just feel it.)

Sometimes changes are just painful. I work with clients on accepting the fact that situations can be uncomfortable. Learning to “sit” with discomfort will make it easier to handle change, set boundaries, and have those tough conversations with the people in your life, all of which will lead you to your authentic self.

 

While this list is not exhaustive, exploring your values and your inner voice is a great first step in becoming authentic and growing through change. I believe in the power within each of us to face change and transition with hope. Our joy begins and ends with us.

 

*Laura is a combination of clients I have seen and is not based on one single person.

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

Book with Amy

In it for the Dad Jokes

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I never thought I’d find myself in the role of “Dad.” It always seemed like it was something that was for somebody else, not for me. When I found myself facing the inevitability of becoming a parent, I knew I had an opportunity to design this role from scratch, in a way that worked for me – a way that would complement my identity and individuality (if possible), but still allow me to be proud of my job as a parent. I didn’t have a lot of traditional models of what this was supposed to look like, so I looked inward.

So, what does that look like? Spreadsheets…just kidding. I saved the spreadsheets for tackling the nursery projects, but for something like this I needed to sit with my thoughts and self-reflections. For me, this was visualizing my kid 40 years in the future, and listening to her talk about what her dad was like. How did I want her to remember me? What did I want her to say?

Thinking of these future words that would not be mine to speak, but would be mine to influence through action, made it clear that I had to actively choose how I wanted to show up as a dad. Did I want to be like my dad? Did I want to be like Don Draper? What kind of dad did I want to be? What does the narrative look like, and what did I need to do to bring that narrative to life?

To answer those questions, I had to think about my own values. Not only what my values were, but also the values that I wanted to outlive me. Life hack: discuss these values with your partner, and ask them to share theirs, so you can get in agreement and operate from a unified front. Parenting is a full contact, strategy-based team sport.

Talking about my values with my wife, listening to hers, and making some new ones together was the hard work (big surprise, we share a lot of the same values. Some that brought us together in the first place, and others we adopted along the way). The values that came out of those conversations have informed the big and small decisions we’ve made, and will continue to inform the ones coming down the pike that we don’t even know about yet. There’s no time to figure this shit out in the middle of your first, “does this qualify for the emergency room?” moment.

Things change and parents constantly have to adapt, but starting with a plan that’s based on your values lets you respond on the fly from a strong base. It sets you up for success. You’re not always going to be right, but at least you’ve made thoughtful decisions instead of just letting things happen unintentionally.

So, we know the pre-work is important, now it’s time to think about how the rubber hits the road…as in, how do you deploy this information? To me, it’s kind of like doing a group project – you have to put together a plan, work together, and tackle it. From my perspective, it’s hard. It’s boring at times. But, boy do I get a kick out of it.

We can all agree that communication is a crucial skill in a group project. I’m not really sure if the impetus for my improved communication was a result of becoming a parent or what my wife does for a living, but I’ve learned that there’s no such thing as over-communicating and explaining my intentions and thought processes. My natural inclination is to share as little as possible about what I’m thinking, and I am certainly not one to jump at the opportunity to explain “why” I’m doing something. The 15 year-old-boy in me still thinks sharing is stupid, but I realize that it’s a necessity. Parenting involves a lot of multitasking, and with at least one eye and one ear on the kids at all times, it’s no surprise that intentions and motivations can easily get lost. When you communicate your motivations, you can understand where your partner is coming from, leaving a lot less room for (mis)interpretation, and a lot more room for appreciation.

Dads are important. I’m half of the equation shaping my kids’ future. I’m half of the puzzle, so I’m equally as important and accountable to being a role model for our kids. The first time I heard the f-bomb come out of my two-year old daughter’s tiny, high-pitched voice, it became clear that she is watching and listening at all times, and is emulating me (and my colorful language), whether I like it or not.

I’m not going to lie, all of this can be exhausting. I’ve had to be really thoughtful about what I put my energy into. I realized quickly that there’s a lot of distracting shit out there, and how important it is to prioritize. You’ve got to work on your day job, keep up your relationships, and make sure your kid doesn’t turn into Darth Vader. Sometimes you’re just trying to survive, and that’s ok. Role modeling grace will go a long way for your kiddo. So, crack yourself a Natty, you’ve earned it dad.

Wesley Belden, Founder of Raise Financial and Scholar Raise and father of two, builds tools to ensure a brighter financial future, no matter where you currently are on your financial journey.

Happiness Hacks: Mental Health Month – Week Five

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That’s a wrap! What an amazing month it has been! Our guests have blown us away with their insights, honesty, education, and openness, and the last week was no exception.

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Grace Goodwin Dwyer

Grace is a registered dietitian and lactation expert here in Nashville. She helps women to prioritize when it comes to nutrition.

On Intuitive Eating

She gave us some wonderful advice on how to incorporate intuitive eating into our daily routine. Intuitive eating is based on the idea of eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full. Simple right? But in today’s culture of a million diets, intuitive eating promotes a healthy attitude towards food and body image. She gave us some wonderful advice on satiety and how to incorporate intuitive eating into our daily routine.When it came to wanting sweets after a meal, Grace had three suggestions:

  1. Ask yourself if you are still actually hungry and you need more of the meal that you just ate (remember eating slowly and with intention will help you decide this!)
  2. If the answer is no and you are satisfied, but still can’t get rid of that sweet tooth, then Grace suggests satisfying that craving in a manageable amount so that later on you don’t over do it because you denied yourself for so long.
  3. Move on sans guilt! (We love this)

On Mental Wellness

As with many of our other takeover guests have recommended, Grace recommended getting recommended getting that a daily dose of fresh air and moving your body in some way as a simple way to manage stress and boost your mental wellness each day..is important for mental wellness.

On What to Eat

Finally, Grace gave us some killer ideas for wholesome meals. Her key: eat food that makes your body and mind feel good. Here is one of our favorites, simply pick an item from each of the 3 categories and you have an easy, balanced and satisfying snack:

Category 1

  • dried apricots or figs
  • cherries, berries
  • sliced apples, pears, peaches, melon
  • cucumbers, broccoli, celery, pickles

Category 2

  • toasted bread
  • pita chips
  • seed crackers
  • tortilla chips
  • flatbread crisps

Category 3

  • nut butter
  • guacamole
  • yogurt dip
  • edamame
  • sliced meat (deli or leftover)
  • tofu cubes
  • nuts (almonds, cashews, pistachios, peanuts)
  • seeds (pumpkin, sunflower)
  • spreads (pesto, tapenade, hummus, babaganoush)

For more, visit Grace’s website.

 

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Amanda Bell

Amanda Bell is the owner and manager of Bend and Zen Hot Yoga Nashville. She shares why yoga has been so pivotal to helping her maintain mental wellness.

On the Ripple Effect of Yoga

Originally, Amanda was drawn to yoga for the physical benefits, but as her practice continued to develop, she began to notice a ripple effect. She started to gain mental endurance, learning non-reactiveness and resiliency, and taking those lessons and applying them “off the mat”. She learned how to use breathing techniques as a source to calm and realign herself with the present moment. And most importantly, she learned how to connect with her emotions.

On Movement and Emotions

Yoga has given her a safe space for her to experience and show her emotions. As a business owner, she had often felt that she needed to keep her emotions under lock and key. She has found that during her yoga practice, she is able to tap into emotions that she has been storing her body.. Sheshared these insights for deeper emotional connection:

  • By moving your body you are changing hormone levels. This endorphin release can help to bring about an improvement in mood.
  • One does not always need to maintain a  tough and strong persona. Allow yourself to show a softer and more vulnerable side in order to create depth in your emotional range. Doing this in a safe space is a great place to start.

On Where to Begin with Yoga

  • Studio hop! Explore each of the studios in town to find a place that feels like home.
  • Give yourself permission to let go of something that isn’t serving you, knowing that you can show up however you need to the class.
  • Show yourself some love and grace when starting your yoga practice.

On Meditation

  • Meditation doesn’t have to look a certain way – all you need is a quiet space.
  • Taking a moment to breathe can help you move forward from a place of anxiety.
  • It is not about not thinking, but controlling what you are thinking about, choose one single touchstone as your focal point.

Decide what takes real-estate in your head.

For more, visit Amanda at Bend and Zen.

 

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Ali Schaffer

Ali Schaffer is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in reframing and helping clients find a new perspective. Reframing is not about simply putting a positive spin on situations, because we’d miss the lessons from big emotions and difficult conversations by doing that. Reframing is about creating a new view or experience of something so that we can arrive at new solutions that we might not have seen before. Remember, some situations don’t end in a solution, but a new ability to exist in an elevated level of understanding.

On Big Emotions

Ali reminded us that big or heavy emotions have value. The ability to experience these emotions improves the depth and the richness of our human experience. In fact, trying to avoid, run away, or diminish heavy emotions could be taking more of a toll on us than we realize.

On Comparative Suffering

Comparative suffering can be explained as “This isn’t as bad as someone else’s situation, so I am not justified to feel this way”. When we experience emotions through comparative suffering we:

  • Set ourselves up to discount or diminish what we are experiencing, creating an unhealthy view of the emotion or experience.
  • Put a value or judgement on the emotion.
  • Set ourselves up in a place where we can’t move forward.

Instead, Ali suggests taking a “both/and” approach

  • Both aware of your own experience and acknowledge the experience of the other person/people.

On How to Approach Therapy

  • Think about what you are looking for? What is going on in your life, can you name it? If you don’t know the answers specifically– that is ok!
  • Schedule an intake phone call. This is a great opportunity to have a conversation with a therapist to see if they are the right fit for you.
  • Go to a session!
    • You don’t have to be an expert at “going to therapy”.
    • You can let the therapist know that you need help navigating the experience.
    • Virtual sessions are making going to sessions even easier.
    • Try out a few sessions, the first few might feel a little awkward, but you are learning about yourself and the process.
    • If it is not a good fit, most therapists will help you connect with someone who is a better fit for you.

For more, find Ali on Instagram.

Happiness Hacks: Mental Health Month – Week Three

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We’re more than halfway through Mental Health Month and our brilliant guests keep bringing the wisdom! Here’s the recap, you might want to get a pen and paper to take some notes. 😉

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Kenya Raymer

Kenya blew us away with her outlook on the connection between mental health and spirituality. Kenya is a spiritual guide with a masters in social work, a combination that allows her to deliver a unique service called Spiritual Therapeutic Sessions, which are spiritual readings that incorporate therapeutic theories. This interview was filled with so much wisdom and light, that we really don’t know if we’ll do it justice here. But, you can check the recording out for yourself here.

On Spirituality

The spiritual journey is two-fold. The first part requires you to connect with yourself and your gifts (btw “gifts” don’t have to be something supernatural. Think about what you’re good at and what comes naturally to you). This is where the deep dive into your self-awareness comes in, and this part of the journey brings you meaning. The second part of the journey is to connect with Spirit and use your gifts for the collective. This part of the journey brings you purpose.

The way Kenya defined spirituality had us levitating, it was so inspiring. She defines spirituality as “getting to know myself at the most authentic level, so that as my awareness of self deepens, my ability to experience the world expands.”

On Embracing Discomfort

As Kenya says, “you can’t Love + Light your way through healing or to wholeness. You MUST do shadow work/ego work/inner child work.” If you don’t get honest with yourself about what’s bugging you, you’ll always be out of alignment, regardless of what positive mantras you have. You must address the root of the problem and sit in the discomfort of those feelings before you can truly move through to be your highest version of yourself. Pro tip: never go to bed out of alignment.

On Going to Therapy

Kenya talks about therapy as an investment into your life, and something that everyone should do at some point. Obvi we couldn’t agree more. In her spiritual work, she helps bring people into awareness of past traumas or issues through which they need to dive more deeply. When you intentionally avoid those traumas and issues, it stays in your body as energy, and talking through these things help move the energy around and release it, so you can move past what’s bringing you down. Preach.

If you’re not ready to pull the trigger on therapy or readings yet, grab a journal and start to get curious. Here are some questions to get you started: “Who am I?”  “Who am I without a connection to other people?” “What is freedom?” and “What is my truth right now?”. Those might keep you busy for a while.

On Balance

Do away with it. It’s not realistic to be 100% in all areas of your life at all times. It’s so important to carve out dedicated personal time to check in with yourself and understand what you need. Honoring what you need in the moment is critical. When you set boundaries and organize your day/week/month into different areas – me-time, family time, work time – you can be more present in each of these areas vs trying to be all things at all times. Understand when you are spreading yourself too thin, and above all, give yourself grace. “Seek to pass all words, actions and thoughts through Unconditional Love, Universal Compassion for all, Grace for yourself and others, and your Truth.”

On Truth

You are the absolute authority on yourself, so “don’t seek externally for something that only exists internally.” Know that your truth can change. When you get to know yourself more deeply, your awareness expands and allows you to experience the world differently, thus what we know to be true evolves with us.

“Be more like the moon. She only shines once a month. The rest of her time is spent resting and evolving. Cycles are necessary for alignment.” 

Continue to follow along with Kenya’s story on Instagram.

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Paul Nyhart

Speaking of truth, Paul Nyhart spoke to us about finding purpose with a refreshingly honest and passionate insight. Paul is many things – an author, producer, Podcast & TV host, and marketing pro – but his most precious moments have been advocating for communities who can feel unheard and ignored. Paul’s latest project, a podcast called “The Story of Bao,” highlights the experiences of individuals defining the moment in their lives when they realized what was precious to them.

On Telling Your Story

In general, people undervalue themselves. As a society, people have been trained not to share their truths, and because of it, we often don’t even realize that we’ve gone through life changing, and often inspiring, experiences. Telling your story is so important, regardless of the audience – you could share your story with the world or simply share it with a friend – you’d be surprised who you might inspire with your words. Plus, it’s a super helpful way to process your experiences.

On Finding Yourself

It can be so easy to bury the interesting things that are going on around you right now because it’s hard to be present in the moment. We’re not trained to think in moments, but rather, we tend to think in vague chunks of time, like “past” and “future.” Without even realizing it, we miss out on the joy that’s right in front of us.

But, what if you don’t know what brings you joy? Start by trying five new things, dive into them, and actively think about which of those really click with you. For example, through his work as a TV and Podcast host, Paul found that what made him tick wasn’t the idea of being behind the microphone, but rather from hearing other people’s stories – those who have typically been ignored in the past. This led him to continue this outside of the studio – advocating for the homeless and mentoring the incarcerated. It was through these experiences that Paul found happiness, purpose, and a deeper understanding of himself.

Finding joy is a journey, so don’t shame yourself if it feels like you don’t know! Similar to “Part 1” of the spiritual journey that Kenya discussed, Paul believes that “happiness is discovering who you are.” Anyone else have the chills?

What’s Precious To You?

Well, what is it? This is Paul’s signature question to help people dive into their self-awareness and ultimately happiness. We turned the question back on Paul, and his answer was all about connection with others and finding inspiration from unlikely places. This reminds him that people are inherently good and strong, which inspires him to do the same.

“If you can connect with a person, that makes you precious to them. By being who you are, you can inspire someone that you don’t even know. Both the beauty and the curse of life is that you’ll never know who you are inspiring.”

For more, visit storyofbao.com.

Happiness Hacks: Mental Health Month – Week Two

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Two weeks into celebrating Mental Health Month and we’re more excited than ever! Not only have our guests been dropping truth bomb after truth bomb on us, but we’ve been so inspired that we’ve incorporated some of their mental wellness tips and practices into our day-to-day. If you missed any of this week’s content, not to fear, here comes your weekly recap…

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Rachel Beauregard

Rachel is a musician and yogi, and we couldn’t wait to learn how she cultivated her wonderful sense of confidence and comfort in her own skin. It all started with a really positive and supportive upbringing, but Rachel noted that at some point you take your mental state into your own hands, and have to do the work to start understanding your tendencies and values.

On Loving her Body

When it comes to having a positive body image, it’s important to remember it’s a daily practice of figuring out how to be your own friend, instead of your enemy. Rachel also finds strength in the affirmations: “You HAVE a body, you are not your body.” She also noted that it’s important to recognize that you will have bad days, and no book or mantra will bring you out of it. At that point it’s important to acknowledge and be honest about your thoughts and your feelings, so you can eventually move on. Remember, “You HAVE thoughts but you are not your thoughts.”

On Acceptance of Change and Cultivating Grace

Rachel’s confidence and ability to go with the flow comes down to putting in the work:

  • Create a Routine
    • Makes you accountable to yourself
    • Allows you to start your day with presence
  • When Things get Tough
    • Have a check-in buddy, so that you don’t feel the need to hold it all in
    • Talk to a therapist
  • Start with Humility
    • Acknowledge that you can’t do it all, and that’s okay
    • Understand that what you can manage can look different from day-to-day
    • Make small changes, without beating yourself up for missteps
    • Be accountable and don’t make up excuses, but accept that you can make mistakes

On Pregnancy

  • Find a community, or person that you can reach out to that won’t shame you for your feelings
  • Understand that you can be SO grateful for the gift of a child, but that your hardships are still valid. You are allowed to complain
  • Ask for what you need

“Feelings are truth, but they are not you as a person, they are not your character.”

Follow Rachel on Instagram

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Kathy Thomas

Kathy is a photographer, mother and the owner of Collective 615, the first women-owned coworking space for women in Nashville.

On Mental Health

As Kathy has grown wiser over the years, she allowed her own experiences, and the experiences of those closest to her, pique her curiosity about mental health. She began slowing down and peeling back the layers of her twenties and thirties, where she admittedly didn’t prioritize things like spiritual and mental health; and instead focused on who she is as a person.

“You cannot move forward until you truly face yourself.”

On Career Change

After working in corporate America, Kathy decided that she wanted to own her time, but found working from home alone isolating. She began looking into it and saw that women who worked from home saw an increase in depression. From experience, Kathy felt like her home was no longer her home, but her job. She had trouble with boundaries, with work infiltrating her personal and family time, and infiltrating a space that she wanted to feel sacred.

This inspired Kathy to open up her heart and eyes for what makes people work, and led to creating Collective 615. She knew she wanted to focus on a sense of support and energy of community.

On Being Role Model to New Business Owners

  • Give yourself a lot of grace.
  • Find a core group who supports you when you’re flat on your face. Your community doesn’t have to look a certain way, it needs to FEEL a certain way.
  • Don’t force relationships that have run their course. Sometimes with growth, you’ll outgrow certain friends. If a relationship brings you down or makes you feel bad, then let it go.
  • Asking for help can sometimes be the hardest thing, especially when help is one-sided. You may not be able to reciprocate right now, but don’t let that stop you asking for the help you need.

For more, visit Collective 615

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Alli Mills Lindsey

A Certified Holistic Coach, Alli has a way of blowing your mind with profound nuggets of wisdom, wrapped up in the most accessible delivery. After years of teaching yoga, she looked into coaching as a way to help people become more present mentally and physically.

On Being Present

Our culture is so focused on go go go, and we’re so focused on the future that we can become disconnected from our present. It can take a lot of courage to acknowledge fearful parts of our lives, in fact our minds are programmed to move away from things that cause us fear. If left unchecked, this can lead to stress, lack of sleep, emotional distress and even physical pain.

On Grounding

Use your breath to check in with yourself at least once a day. What you notice will be different from hour to hour, day to day. But, by checking in, you can become aware of your feelings and needs, and your thoughts will remain fluid.

  • Close your eyes and notice your breath. Breath is a really powerful link to our life.
  • Take your breath into your physical body.
  • Take your breath into thoughts. Are they in the future? Are they in the past?
  • Take your breath into your emotions.

On Cultivating Mental Wellness in Young Women

In Alli’s work with young women from all backgrounds, she noticed a common thread: they were all stressed out, and what they needed most was a safe space to be quiet, present, and loved. Giving them space to let go and be themselves was huge.

Her advice to mothers and mother figures wanting to connect with their daughters is to have an easy presence, allowing them to come to you. If you make sure they feel seen, and you give them the space to just be, they’ll be more receptive on the occasions that you do need to tell them what to do.

Another big thing is teaching them grounding breathwork, and to listen to their inner wisdom. During the transition from child to adult, they begin to explore who they are, and can also often feel pressured to be someone else. Parents need to recognize and respect when girls are listening to themselves.

On Getting Unstuck

Patience is key here, it’s a process. Small turns can lead you away from your life’s purpose.

  • First things first, find out where you are. If you think of your life like a map; to get to where you’re going, you first need to understand where you are. Otherwise, no matter how good a map you have, you’ll likely remain lost. Be patient with yourself as you begin this inquiry.
  • Become more present. Focus on your breath – get grounded.
  • Take that first step, no matter how small it is. We often get so distracted by the end goal, that it feels insurmountable. The universe will respond, but you have to take that first step.
  • Think about your purpose. Think about where your path changed – what led you that way? Start to notice the things you do that make you feel like you have purpose.
  • Come into your power. Finding your authenticity and living an authentic life is powerful. That’s not to say there won’t be bumps in the road, but it will give you a better ability to return back to who you are.

“If you make enough right steps, you will eventually get home.”

For more, visit Alli’s website

Koula Callahan

Yogi, Koula Callahan, took over our stories to give us a peek into a day-in-the-life and how she uses mindful movement to set herself up for success.

Koula typically starts her day with a yoga class, whether or not she’s teaching. A key to her mental wellbeing, is a rule she sets for herself – no looking at the phone until after class. This mindful movement helps her to start her day from a place of physical presence, working out any tensions and resistance she might be carrying. It also helps her to start her day from a centered and calm space, keeping her in her limbic brain for longer, and building her up before the stresses of the day weigh her down.

On the Importance of Mindful Movement

Mindful movement helps to develop the mind-body connection, and helps us work through structures in the body that are keeping us stuck. It also increases the activation of your prefrontal cortex, and helps to develop self awareness and self compassion.

People with a mindful movement practice:

  • Experience less stress and anxiety
  • Are less likely to develop cognitive disabilities
  • Sleep better
  • Are less likely to get sick
  • Have an improved mood

On the Brain

The limbic brain is where you process emotions, creativity, and the subconscious self. The prefrontal cortex is where you process higher thought patterns, problem solving, and is essentially the part of the brain activated throughout your workday.

By spending time in your limbic brain before you activate your prefrontal cortex, you help develop your emotional intelligence and process your thoughts through the unconscious thoughts that could be keeping you stuck. This is why it’s key to spend your mornings doing something mindful, (think: movement, walking, or writing) before checking email and moving into the ‘higher thinking’ part of your brain.

“With practice, you can become more integrated with yourself, your emotions, and your physical self.”

Follow Koula on Instagram