Author Archives: The Happy Hour

My Body Has Cancer

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The first week of May of this year I woke up from a deep sleep and felt a tingle in my right breast. My hand instinctively moved to where I felt a twinge and there was a small lump. And something in me knew my life was about to change.

 

I called my primary care doctor that day and had an appointment set up for the following week. She could visibly see the lump when she did my breast exam. It moved easily to her touch and didn’t hurt. It is hard to dissect what it could be through touch, so she referred me to get a mammogram. I didn’t allow myself to go too far down the Google rabbit hole in this case. The little research I did, and based on the nature of the lump, made me think it might be a cyst. 

 

Two weeks later, I was in the office for a mammogram and ultrasound. After both tests were performed, I was informed the radiologist wanted to speak to me directly. As I sat on the exam table, feeling a little sore and exposed, the radiologist quickly explained that the results were inconclusive. He used a lot of technical words I did not understand. From what I did, I needed to get a biopsy for further conclusion. I felt very small on that table as he stood over me delivering this news. The only thing I could think to ask was if it was a cyst. He definitively said no. The lump needed further examination.

 

It took about a month to get my biopsy scheduled and during that time I didn’t allow my mind to wander too much. I only told a few people as I didn’t want to cause any concern for something that was unknown. The doctor biopsied the lump and the lymph nodes under my armpit while he regaled me with stories of his trip to Scotland during our hour of time together.  The nurse had given me a washcloth to clean my breast before the doctor went to work, and it became a stress-ball I squeezed in my left hand to calm my nerves. I didn’t feel any physical pain due to whatever numbing drug he injected into my body, taking deep breaths to hold back the tears while he worked.

 

I had recently had a mammogram in December of 2021 and there was no indication of a malignancy. I have extremely dense breast tissue, which is common amongst women with less body fat, and lowers the sensitivity of a mammogram. But, the report gave no cause for concern. I am 42 years old and lead a healthy lifestyle that the idea of breast cancer wasn’t even on my radar

 

One week later, I received word from my primary care doctor that the biopsy results from the lump had come back positive of a malignancy, which in layman’s terms is cancer. The lymph nodes were negative, which means the cancer had not spread beyond that lump so in a sense I had caught it fairly early. She did not know the stage or have much more information for me other than they would follow up with me the next day with a referral for an oncologist. 

 

I was at The Happy Hour when I got the news and Clara, the owner and founder, was waiting for me downstairs. As soon as she saw my face, she ran over and embraced me. I broke down and sobbed in her arms. When I pulled away from her to take my first deep breath of the day, there was this inner knowing that this is how it is supposed to be. All of this is happening for me and not to me. 

 

I have since learned that my breast cancer is stage 2, triple negative, which due to its nature, requires a pretty aggressive form of treatment. I will start 6 months of chemo this week, followed by breast surgery to remove the lump and then radiation. In total, I am in for about 9 months of treatment. 

 

Writing has always been a therapeutic tool for me and I feel it will be part of this journey.  Something in my heart tells me I need to share the most vulnerable parts of this experience. I am not sure what that altogether looks like and will figure it out as I go. So much of the work I love to do is teaching and helping others to get in touch with their most vulnerable selves. For in that vulnerability, the most healing can happen. 

 

Well shit…now the teacher becomes the student. 

 

Learn more about our inspirational energy practitioner, Kim Breese. 

Kim will continue to take appointments, as the nature of her work is healing for her as much as it is for you. Plus, it equips her with a grounding routine and a place to get outside of her head. She is still figuring out her schedule and it may need to change. Please be understanding and flexible if your appointment needs to be rescheduled on short notice- you will not be penalized. 

This blog was republished with permission from Kim’s personal blog, where you can follow her journey.

From Dr. Frock’s Desk: Coping with World Events

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In our new series, From Dr. Frock’s Desk, we sit down with Dr. Frock to gain a psychiatrist’s perspective, anecdotes, and tools on a variety of topics. This month, we are exploring how to cope with large-scale events that can bring out big emotions like lack of direction, hopelessness, grief, anger, and stress, just to name a few.

 

The last two years have been incredibly hard on us collectively, we’ve all faced a plethora of events that have been out of our control and elicit a big emotional response. What is your best advice for maintaining groundedness? 

During these times, I think it’s important to at first, acknowledge that everything happening in this “new normal” is actually abnormal. Experiencing stress, experiencing a dissociative-type feeling, feeling numb, none of these feelings are inherently wrong when something very dramatic is going on around you. 

Your negative feelings are part of human existence. When people start struggling with stress, the things that fall by the wayside first are the basics. It sounds really simple, but you might notice you’re staying up too late or doom scrolling social media, for example. This leads to feeling tired the next day, so you might eat something less healthy, or you don’t exercise. This cascade of forgetting the fundamental basics (which are within your control), like sleep, exercise, and diet, can take a stressful event (which is out of your control) and turn it into a deviation from your normal behavior, which can compound the overall stress you’re experiencing.

 

What tips do you have for some people who are suffering from feeling like they don’t have any control, or for those that are experiencing a lack of autonomy due to systems in place that are much larger than who they are?

It’s important to note that there are always going to be shifts in the energy that you’re dealing with, and that energy can be inherently positive or negative. So when people have a lot of positive energy, I think we’re very good at devoting that towards healthy reinforcing behaviors, like self-care. But when we have negative emotions and energy, sometimes we’re not the best at re-directing that energy into something productive. 

For example, if you find yourself feeling uneasy and stressed by a political issue, you could choose to be angry and ruminate, but you’ll never feel better by going down that destructive path. Alternatively, there are a lot of opportunities for channeling that energy into something positive, like advocacy. There are many startup organizations throughout the social and political spectrum that can be very rewarding to get involved with. So while world events might be out of your immediate control, you do have the power to control and choose how to channel your energy. 

Another thing to remember is to not beat yourself up for not being able to “fix” everything. Keep yourself grounded by recognizing what is within your control and what you can realistically accomplish.

 

Professionally, have you noticed a collective shift in emotions, stress response and a feeling of a loss of control?

No question. In my practice, I see a lot of different types of people, and I’ve actually been really surprised with how uniform the stress response seems to be. Whether it’s acknowledging how it feels to be living in these very strange post-pandemic times, or the political divisiveness and the stress of how we’re starting to define people by what they believe. 

I will routinely ask people how much time they’re spending on social media. There’s productive stuff on there, like positive communities, but a lot of times, it’s not productive, and more often than not we’re being constantly bombarded with worst-case scenario headlines. We aren’t supposed to be able to handle this information overload, all the time, all at once.

In general, many of us seem to be on social media too much, after all, it’s designed to be addictive. I think that limiting your exposure to that kind of media model is probably going to be better for you long term. 

 

What do you recommend for people who are feeling like they’re overwhelmed, or just “off”, without being able to pinpoint the cause of their uneasy feelings?

I mentioned this a little bit before, but don’t forget the fundamentals. Sometimes when people feel really overwhelmed and stressed, it can be common to shut down, when in fact, you want to do the exact opposite. You want to be around people that you care about. You want to do something that you enjoy. I think exercise is like one of the most underutilized, under-appreciated stress reducers of all. It’s almost a guarantee you’re going to feel better afterwards.

Sometimes people can feel intense emotions they don’t understand, and it often manifests in anger or isolation. In treatment, what I try to do is say, alright, you’re feeling this way, we need to figure out a way where you reflexively decide, “Oh my gosh, I need to go for a walk”, or “I’ve gotta go connect with people that I care about.” You almost want to retrain your habits. Rather than shut down, you teach yourself to do the opposite. 

 

What is one way to notice the burnout without spiraling deeper into the feelings?

Two things that come to mind are normalization and validation, reminding yourself that it’s probably okay to feel what you’re feeling. Step back a little to gain perspective by asking yourself, “If 100 People were put in this position, how many of them would likely feel the way I feel?” Often the answer is that 95+ people would feel the same way. 

This is often very apparent in workplace wellness today. I find that a lot of existing workplace wellness programs don’t do a very good job of acknowledging and validating those feelings. There’s a band-aid approach of prescribing a yoga class, or group meditation to feel better- which may help for the duration of the class, but it doesn’t dig deeper and address the root of the problem. Maybe employees just need to hear: “Yeah, this is a really hard job, and this was a really hard time. It’s okay to feel this way. How can we better support you?” Think of it from the perspective of, if you didn’t feel this way, that would actually be kind of weird. 

 

Any advice for someone beginning to establish new stress management habits?

I would say some of this information, as simple as some of it sounds, is extraordinarily difficult to actually do. Even the simplest advice, like “just going for a walk”, is not always easy to do. Habits and thought patterns are not easy things to change, and that’s what you have to take into consideration. Any behavior change is not going to be easy or natural the first time, and it takes practice to get into it completely. 

COVID was a challenging time, because a lot of things we took for granted, or didn’t view as self-care, were ripped away from us. For example, if you were someone who went to church every Sunday; this was a place to be social, to sing, and to tap into your spirituality. When that all just went virtual, it makes sense that you likely felt a little bit more alone. It’s times like these that it can be helpful to recognize which habits comprised your self-care before. What filled your cup? How can you take steps to get back to that?

 

Would you also recommend breaking down those habits to help identify them?

If you enjoy eating outside with friends, for example, you can break down that experience into individual components, like being with friends, eating new food, trying new restaurants, and being outside. That way, if going out with a group isn’t possible right now, you now have identified 4 bite-sized components to choose from. So if you can’t see all your friends, you can still try a new recipe and eat outdoors.

Once you’ve got an inventory of things you enjoy and that fill you up, it’s important to get them scheduled. If you don’t take decisive action to make them happen, there’s a good chance they won’t get done. 

 

The content of this blog and book recommendation are for educational purposes only. Neither is prescriptive, nor a substitute for a therapeutic relationship.

Dr. Frock’s Book Recommendation

If you enjoyed this topic and would like to explore it further, Dr. Frock recommends the book, Silence: In the Age of Noise, by Erling Kagge.

Connecting to Your Inner Voice

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 “Who am I?  What do I believe in?  Which relationships and life pursuits really matter to me?”  These are common questions I hear from my clients, and they typically appear when an individual is feeling stuck or has reached a fork in the road and they are unsure how to step forward.  The person struggles to know how to proceed because he/she/they seemingly do not have access to the “inner map.”  That map, or one’s inner voice, cannot predict the joys, pitfalls, or the outcome of a given path.  However, it can provide information on a) how you feel about each choice and b) whether a given option moves you in the direction of being who you want to be and the life you want to live.  While the inner map, or voice,  comprises several parts, we’ll dive a little deeper into the two aforementioned components, your emotions and values.

 

People often find themselves struggling with their emotions, particularly those that are uncomfortable or painful to feel.  They work hard to distract themselves or to push the emotions away.  The strategies used to accomplish this may work in the short term, but in the long term, the emotions return and can be accompanied by new concerns (e.g., addiction, financial crisis, etc.). 

Instead of fighting with, or trying to ignore, your emotions, the alternative is to connect with them and tap into the information they provide.

 

Emotions have messages to tell us; they show us the heart’s desires, needs, hopes, etc.  For example, loneliness tells us of our need to be seen and known, and it will move us to pursue social connections.  Anger energizes us and points us to our passions; it sends us into action – to stand up for what we believe in and to advocate for change when we witness injustice.  If we breeze past these indicators of how we feel, there is an increased likelihood of pain because we choose a path that is not in line with our authentic selves; we stay disconnected and alone or we remain in discomfort and dissatisfied with the status quo. 

In my view, emotions are essential ingredients for decision making, and we do not want to miss the information they are trying to share.  

 

Values, like emotions, serve as part of our inner map and guide us in the direction of our life’s goals.  Not only are the goals meant to align with our values but also our steps along the way toward reaching the goal.  In other words, values will indicate whether our choices and actions are congruent with our living in a manner that is like the individuals we want to be.  So, who do we want to be?  How do we want to show up in our close relationships?  In what ways can we serve our communities and how do we want to be remembered?  Values can be situation specific or they can be enduring across the lifespan; either way, they provide an answer to these questions.  As a mental health counselor, my values include being accepting, authentic, compassionate, mindful, and supportive.  These qualities describe how I relate to my clients and how I hope they will remember me after our work has concluded.  Values can be applied to any “hat” we each wear, such as parent, spouse, friend, mentor, volunteer, boss, etc.  They highlight whether we are living in line with who we want to be (e.g., parental values may include being loving, caring, trustworthy, and patient) or the need to course correct because we have become remote from our identified values.  When you notice the path toward your goal has stalled, I encourage you to be kind and understanding toward yourself; listen to the emotions that have surfaced (like anger or sadness) and use them, along with values, to connect to your inner voice, as they light the way back to your desired path and assist in helping you get unstuck and move forward. 

 

The content of this blog is for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship.


If you’re wanting to connect with your inner voice, or if you want a talk therapist who can help you through life’s challenges and transitions, as well as self-worth and acceptance, you can book with Kathleen here.

Kathleen is EMDR and ACT trained.

The Link Between Diet and Mental Health

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What we eat doesn’t just impact our physical health, it can also impact our mental health and overall wellbeing. Think about our body as a working machine – all parts are related! The fuel for this machine, or our body, comes from the foods that we eat and what’s IN the fuel, ie the quality, can make all the difference. Read on to learn how food impacts our mental health and mood.

 

How are diet and mental health linked

While the relationship between diet and mental health is complex, it’s well known, (and studies have shown,) that they are closely connected. The connection between diet and mental health stems from the link between our gut and brain. This link is called the gut-brain axis. Don’t worry, we won’t go too sciencey about this, but we’ll give you the gist!

 

Your gut is filled with billions of bacteria that impact the production of chemical substances that are constantly carrying messages back and forth from the gut to the brain. Having a healthy and nourishing diet promotes the production of “good” bacteria. This good bacteria has a positive influence on these chemicals. A poor-quality diet can increase inflammation which hinders production of the good chemicals.

 

Think about it this way: a good-quality diet equals good communication within your brain and therefore your emotions can articulate it. When the communication goes awry, emotions and mood can be negatively impacted. It all comes down to the communication. 

 

So how does this affect mental health?

When we eat a poor-quality diet, such as a diet filled with empty-calorie foods, high-sugar desserts, and lots of refined carbs, we’re more likely to have greater mood fluctuations. This can increase our likelihood of developing or increase our periods of depression and anxiety. Eating these foods has also been shown to lead to a poor outlook and increased negative thoughts.

 

The quality of the food that we eat also impacts our concentration and productivity. Both of these can have a long-term effect on our mental health.

 

So, what should you be eating?

We’ve mentioned that foods that are filled with empty calories and high in sugar and refined carbohydrates should be limited, but what about foods that we can eat MORE of? 

 

Whole Foods

Whole foods, or those free from preservatives, additivities, and are minimally processed can help to promote the production of good bacteria in our gut. Look for foods that have fewer ingredients or come in a “raw” form such as fruits and vegetables.

 

Antioxidants

Antioxidant-containing foods, such as berries and leafy greens, fight inflammation in our body. 

 

Complex Carbs

Complex carbs are those that take longer to digest than the simple form, and therefore sustain our energy longer. Complex carbs include whole wheat bread, brown rice, oats, and quinoa. Complex carbs also contain fiber, which has been shown to promote the production of good bacteria in our gut.

 

Vitamin D

Vitamin D helps with the production of one of the chemical substances, serotonin, that assists with sleep and mood. While we usually think of vitamin D as coming from the sun, we can also get it from dairy sources, we can consume vitamin D in tuna, fortified juices, and mushrooms.

 

Next steps

Although it’s still important to think of the way that food makes us feel physically, don’t forget how it also makes us feel mentally and emotionally! Try incorporating more of the foods mentioned above while consuming foods with poor nutritional quality in moderation. Healthy eating is just one component of your mental health that is in your control.

 

The content of this blog is for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship.

 

Do You Want to Fuel Your Mind and Body?

 

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EACH MONTH YOU GET:
  • Two (2) 50-minute sessions with your Certified Holistic Life Coach
  • One (1) 50-minute Nutrition Coaching Session
  • One (1) 50-minute Energy Work session
  • A personalized program and game plan, made just for you.
  • Check-ins and journaling prompts 5 days a week via our virtual platform.
  • Curated content from our extensive resource library. We do the research for you and send the best nuggets of insight to you weekly, to streamline your growth.

 

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Finding Authenticity and Purpose

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“When was the best time in your life?” When someone recently asked me this question, I found myself nostalgically wandering to the past, searching for the exact right answer. But, of all the joy-filled eras that I’ve lived, I realized that those times pale in comparison to RIGHT NOW. 

 

Just a couple years ago, I finally gave myself permission to show up as my true, authentic self. This wasn’t something that simply happened one day, it was the result of 1) my mental exhaustion from striving to be perfect, and 2) lots and lots of self-work to figure out who my authentic self actually was. When this door was unlocked, everything became richer – my relationships, my work, previously mundane experiences, etc. I finally began to feel like I was living my purpose, without doubt, and felt it deep into my bones. It was liberating. 

 

“This timeline isn’t adding up,” you might say, “You started The Happy Hour 5 years ago, so you were living your purpose for longer than the last couple measly years.” Well, let me let you in on a little secret…you can’t live your purpose without knowing who you truly are, and you can’t live your purpose without loving that person. 

 

Want another confession? When I first started putting together plans for this business, I was embarrassed to tell people about it. I had wrapped my identity so tightly around my former title and fancy corporate job I worked years to achieve, that I would strategically go out of my way to avoid talking about this concept. This concept upon which my heart and soul was completely sold. I didn’t want anyone to see me differently than all the ways for which I had previously been praised. I didn’t want to be seen as anything but predictably perfect. 

 

Sure, I had all the usual self doubts, “Should I concentrate on my kids and stay at home with them until they’re older?”, “Should I go back to a more stable and steady job that might not have as much stress?” (There is nothing wrong with those options, btw). But, I had always known since I was a kid that I had a gift in helping people and I needed to use that gift. But I didn’t truly believe in myself or that I could live out my purpose, until I started my journey to authenticity, did my own hands-on research, and started training to coach others. You can’t give (or guide) what you don’t have, and that lit a fire in me to let down the 34-year old walls and commit to living authentically. 

 

Through therapy, coaching, reading, writing, listening, meditating, praying, learning and living by mindfulness, and exploring my spirituality through so many mediums, I came to redefine myself, but this time without using any labels. I’ll never forget the day I sat on my therapist’s couch and said,

“I don’t even know who I am anymore, but I feel like myself for the first time in my life.” 

 

Getting started on this journey isn’t easy. And, in my experience, it works best if you come at it from many different angles, receiving information from multiple viewpoints, then putting it all together in a way that feels true to you. For me that meant doing a 180 on my long-held beliefs, and learning about myself in an honest way that pushed me out of my comfort zone. This leap of faith led me to some spiritual healers and health professionals that changed my life through giving me a variety of tools to support my mental health that covered all the bases: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. Here’s some wisdom I learned that I’ll carry with me forever, and I invite you to try on: you are more than your title(s), you have everything you need within you already, and you are loved no matter what. 

 

The content of this blog is for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship.

 

Are you ready to find your authenticity and purpose?

 

We’ve re-vamped our best-selling workshop series, Discover Your True North, to help you catapult your growth and discover your fixed point and baseline in a world that can at times feel out of control.

Topics in this 6-part series include: 1) uncovering your authentic self, 2) creating your story, 3) defining spirituality on your terms, and 4) removing roadblocks. We’ll peel back the layers to reveal who you are at your core. This unique internal compass will ground you, teach you ways to find inner-strength through a storm, and set you on your journey to your most fulfilling life. Get ready for lots of ‘a-ha’ moments!

 

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The Importance of Holistic Wellness

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Have you ever started on a journey to improve one aspect of your life and found yourself losing steam  and eventually giving up? You may have beat yourself for not being more disciplined, for not having enough willpower, and not having what it takes to achieve your goals, but what if we told you it’s not your lack of willpower holding you back?

 

Often what we see as forward movement  in others, is actually (whether by design or intuition) the result of approaching wellness holistically. Frequently, the most profound growth comes down to considering what you need for your mind, body, and soul to thrive in harmony.

 

This isn’t some new-age woo-woo. This is cold, hard science.

 

Take your emotions for example. Stanford Neuroscientist, Andrew Huberman, Ph.D. explains: 

“The vagus nerve is responsible for emotion, and the way it does that is to pool – to aggregate – the conditions of your gut, the conditions of your heart, and the conditions of your breathing, which includes your diaphragm and lungs, and takes that kind of as a collection of information and sends it to the brain, and controls what we call your emotions.”

 

Now you might be thinking, “If that’s true, why do I still feel anxious when my gut health is so good it would make the supplement gal at Whole Foods jealous?” 

 

That’s because your emotions are controlled by your body, but they are also influenced by cognitive events like processing stressful news, being hurt by someone you care about, or hearing great news that gets you excited. Dr. Huberman explains that your brain doesn’t act on information alone, so it combines the external factors with your body’s response to those factors, which in turn creates your moods.

 

Let us break that down:

INCOMING INFORMATION + EXTERNAL FACTORS + BODY’S RESPONSE = MOOD

 

So what does this have to do with your personal growth? Everything.

 

Knowing how your mind, body and soul are connected allows you to approach your wellness journey holistically. Having simultaneous support for your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual/social health allows you to work towards your goals in a way that has built-in safety nets. Supporting yourself in this inclusive way helps minimize setbacks when life throws you curveballs.

 

You could be working hard on your mental health with your trusted therapist or coach, but find yourself not progressing how you’d like. You might be feeling held back by brain fog and energy levels so low that you simply can’t motivate yourself to take action. This is where working with a dietitian or health coach could be the key to unlocking the next level of your mental health journey. Optimizing your nutrition to make sure you’re getting a wide variety of brain-boosting and blood sugar balancing nutrients will make sure your body and mind are being fuelled in a way that supports your wellness journey.

 

Similarly, you could be carrying a lot of your emotions physically. Headaches, stiff muscles, and belly aches might be so frequent you’ve just chalked them up to simply “getting older”. PSA: Getting older doesn’t mean you have to feel like crap. Those aches and pains are your body’s way of letting you know something needs attention. One of the best ways to get unstuck emotionally is to move physically. Introducing a physical aspect to your stress reduction strategy, like walking, yoga, or massage can help shift the tension out of your body. Working with a coach can help you examine your routines in a way that doesn’t add another thing to your to-do list, but finds natural opportunities to integrate movement into your day.  A practice like energy work combines physical relaxation with introspection and mindfulness in a way that can really take your holistic wellness to the next level.

 

If you’re working on your physical wellness with a goal to have peak energy and feel strong and confident in your skin, excessive calorie restriction and endless hours on the treadmill are unlikely going to help you see the progress you’re after. If you’ve been down this road before, you’re likely familiar with the burnout and misery that accompany this approach. A life coach can help you identify what is holding you back from reaching your goals. They might work with you on boundaries and stress reduction. Introducing a mindfulness practice and more active rest might seem counter-intuitive, but they might be the missing piece in your overall wellness puzzle.

 

It’s starting to make sense, isn’t it? How wonderfully, intricately connected we are. How we can’t thrive in one aspect of our lives, while neglecting others… not for long, at least. 

 

At the end of the day, that future version of yourself you’re working towards is not going to be found through immense willpower and relentless grind. It’s going to be achieved by supporting your mind, body, and spirit so that they can work together to help you achieve your goals in a way that doesn’t require willpower. It’s going to be achieved by finding a state of flow, balance, and intention. A place where you feel grounded in yourself and where your potential is limitless.

 

Do you want to Transform Your Life using a holistic approach?

 

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Finding Calm with Active Meditation

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For many of us, the thought of sitting alone with our thoughts and having to be still for more than 5 minutes doesn’t sound too appealing. Sure, we’ve all heard that there are benefits to meditation and mindfulness practices, but who has the time and the patience? There are better ways to decompress, like watching Netflix or mindlessly scrolling through social media… right?

What if we told you there were ways to practice meditation that don’t look like that of an experienced yogi? If the mold you think you should fit into isn’t working for you, find what does. Believe it or not, you can be meditative during your everyday tasks or hobbies. Have you ever attended a workout class, listened to your favorite artist, participated in a workshop, or even just taken a shower  – and felt that clarity, bliss and sense of comfort afterwards? Congratulations, you’re already a pro at meditation! If it’s helping you relax, clear your mind, and evade distraction, then you’re on the right track. Ultimately, meditation is whatever you want it to be and however it works for you. BUT – like many things in life, to get the most out of it, you need to be intentional and practice. If you need some help, or ideas – that’s where we come in. 😉

 

GET OUTSIDE

Whether it’s taking a walk, or attending one of our mindfulness classes at the beautiful Cheekwood Estates, being outside is a great way to practice meditation. During a traditional meditation practice, although you’re to sit criss-cross-apple-sauce and remain still, you’re also welcome to observe your surroundings and take in the present moment rather than dwelling on your thoughts. You can do this on a hike or while swimming outside too! Being outside is a great way to be mindful of the beauty around you, while also getting some much-needed vitamin D and fresh air. Give it a try yourself!

 

TIDY UP

As you can probably guess, a cluttered mind can be directly tied to a cluttered environment. If you look around at your bedroom and realize clothes and dishes have been piling up without you noticing, you’re likely going through life on autopilot rather than approaching it mindfully. It may seem difficult to start viewing laundry day as self-care and time to yourself rather than a chore, but your body and mind will thank you for it. 

 

TAKE A SHOWER

We know what you’re thinking: how is something as simple as bathing a form of meditation? It’s kind of like the cleaning thing. Any mundane task can free up your mind just enough to be meditative. Next time you’re in the shower, try tuning into your senses — noticing the smells of your shampoo or how it feels to scrub your skin. Be gentle with your body and give your mind a break from everything else.

 

GET MOVING

I’m sure your mind immediately went to yoga, and we don’t blame you. Meditation is basically built into the practice, so yes, yoga is a great option, but it’s not the only one! Any form of exercise requires you to focus on your breath and be present, or otherwise risk falling, pulling a muscle, you get the idea. Not to mention the endorphins aren’t a bad way to forget what’s stressing you out on the day-to-day!

 

BE CREATIVE

We can’t all be Picasso or Shakespeare, but that shouldn’t stop us from getting creative! It’s the same idea of busying your hands and the technical part of your brain with an activity that frees up the rest of your mind for mindful thoughts. Tune into what you’re creating and spend some quality time with yourself. You could try coloring, playing an instrument, or writing in a journal. The possibilities are endless, and who knows? You might be proud of what you come up with.

 

Is meditation feeling any less intimidating yet? Good! That’s the goal. There are so many ways to practice being mindful — so many that you’re probably already doing, but just didn’t realize could be made into a meditative practice! Join us for Meditation off the Mat to discover the purpose of meditation and learn how to connect with the nature of it. This workshop will give you tools that you can use to immediately improve your overall mindfulness and reduce your stress response. Say “so long” to meditation frustration, and “hello” to feeling grounded in the present moment. 

 

Are you ready to make meditation a habit, no matter what that looks like, and start reaping the many benefits: better sleep, increasing self-awareness, chronic pain, anxiety and stress management skills, and more? You got this!

What life coaching can do for you

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If you are looking for a space to process your past, understand the effects of an experience, dive deeper into an emotion, or heal from a trauma, then therapy is the exact right place for you.  But, I have found that often, people use therapy for everyday obstacles, like decision making, communicating, navigating relationships, life transitions, or even for a non-judgemental place to talk with someone. Let me be clear, therapy is a vital and necessary resource for many people. I just think that sometimes people go to therapy as an automatic choice, without even considering coaching as an option. So I am going to give you a breakdown, using examples, to show you what life coaching can do for you. 

 

Let’s start by understanding what coaching is. Jill Manaco absolutely nails the definition of what coaching is:

“Coaching is set apart by the way a coach approaches a conversation with a client. Coaches do not teach but help you through a process of discovery by using active listening skills, asking powerful questions, expanding thought processes, identifying limited beliefs, designing action steps and following up. 

  • Coaches don’t talk, they listen.
  • Coaches don’t give information, they ask questions.
  • Coaches don’t offer ideas, they generate ideas from clients.
  • Coaches don’t share their story, they tap into the client’s experience.
  • Coaches don’t present solutions, they expand the client’s thinking.
  • Coaches don’t give recommendations, they empower clients to choose.”

 

Now that you have a clearer idea of a coach’s approach, you might be asking yourself “How do I choose between therapy and coaching?” When deciding what avenue to choose, the first question I encourage you to ask yourself is: What am I hoping to get out of this session or sessions? 

 

Here’s an example: a work decision might be really stressing you out. Maybe you are plotting out your small business’ marketing plan for the upcoming year. This sets the tone for the rest of the year. You don’t know how to navigate it and the whole experience is causing immense stress, causing you to lose sleep and affecting your day to day.  You might think– “I should go to a therapist.” Right? 

 

Welllll maybe… it depends. Your therapist can help with your stress response, but ultimately is not going to take the situation away. While stress management is totally within the wheelhouse of a therapist, marketing planning and strategy is not. This is where a coach would be PERFECT. Like Christa Booker, she is an absolute WHIZ at business coaching and has years in consulting for marketing and planning. She also is an expert at mindfulness practices, tools that you can use in the moment when a stressful situation occurs. Working with a coach in this case would look like being empowered to make decisions that are both strategic and authentic. That means that the coach would work with you to generate ideas rather than telling you what to do without your input. All of the coaches at The Happy Hour believe that you have the answers within you. Sometimes it just takes a conversation to dig in and find them.

 

See how asking yourself what you need is ultimately so helpful?

 

Just like therapy, the frequency at which you go to coaching matters. When going to coaching, one of the biggest pieces of advice I can recommend is avoiding the “one and done” approach (lol, we aren’t that good). Similar to the mindset of going to therapy, working with a coach is a process. Yes, you will walk away with your compass pointing a little more north, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll have the whole thing mapped out. 

 

Example time.

Let’s say you had a brutal break up 6 months ago. After some time and self healing you are finally ready to date again, but you have no idea where to start. You want to get back out there, but you want to do it in the right way. And let’s be honest, your friends have given you terrible advice up to this point. 

 

A coach (ehem, yours truly) can guide you through learning about your values in a relationship, deciphering what you are looking for in a partner, how attachment styles can cause relationships to thrive or die, how to set and honor boundaries, how to put yourself out there, heck, how to even set up a dating profile that actually represents who you truly are. The areas in which a coach can help you are numerous. But let me say, we are not going to get through all of this in one session. What we will do in the first session, is set you up on the right path, one that involves all of the resources and support you need to take the first step. This is where being a part of our Whole You coaching program would establish and encourage massive growth. By having that wrap around care, you are truly supported in mind, body, and spirit during a time when all three of those are being put to the test.

 

Maybe you’re ready for a big life change. Possibly you’ve just gone through the transition from working full-time into retirement, or you feel restless or unfulfilled in your day. Authenticity coaches, like Clara, have years of experience guiding individuals through the process of discovering their passions, mapping their values, learning to trust and listen to themself, and ultimately uncovering their truest self. Coaches like Clara, can actually walk with you through the process by sending you resources throughout the week and checking in to help you stay accountable. This is another example of where Whole You is the best fit (next cohort starts in June!). 

 

So those were three fairly specific examples, but what about getting help with the everyday stuff? Well, all of our coaches are uniquely qualified to help with this because they operate from the present moment to help orient you and help you discover what step is next. Like Erin, she has worked with people on how to make friends as an adult, navigating a tough conversation, learning to make decisions that feel good in your body and your mind, and understanding how to prioritize your schedule in order to find greater fulfillment in your day. I think that one thing coaches are really good at is understanding the importance of the first small step . It is really easy to get wrapped up in the big picture, but the tiny, small actions that happen everyday, is the difference in becoming who you want to be. Or as I like to call it, ‘showing up’.

 

I don’t blame people for not knowing how coaching can help them. Let’s be honest, therapy has just started to be recognized and valued for what it’s worth. The great part about The Happy Hour is, both therapists and coaches work under one roof. Actually, therapy and coaching work great together. Using information from our past experiences can help us make more informed decisions for our present and our future. Our staff can help you when trying to determine what’s best for you, so you don’t have to decide alone. Most importantly, if you are talking to someone about your mental wellness, you’re doing the right thing. We just want to make sure that you get the most out of your time here.

 

Are You Ready to Transform Your Life?

Consider this: feeling grounded, confident and unshakeable by building a lifestyle that uniquely supports your total health. Encompassing the four areas of health: mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual, the Whole You program will lead you through a 90-day lifestyle evolution.

LEARN MORE + SAVE YOUR SPOT HERE

Podcasts We Love

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We don’t mean to brag, but here at The Happy Hour, we consider ourselves podcast connoisseurs. Sure — many of the hours we’ve spent listening to podcast episodes are a scary amount of Brené Brown, but can you blame us? We love that podcasts give us the ability to escape the busy world around us, while also allowing us to learn more about ourselves, our emotions, how to communicate with others, or any other niche subject that may pique our interest. 

 

We asked the team to share some of their favorite podcast episodes and what they love about them. Check them out and give one (or a few) a listen! 

 

CLAIRE

 

Andrew Huberman by by Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

I am a certified Armchair Expert fanatic (better known as an ‘arm-chairee’). I love it for many reasons, but mostly because it celebrates the messiness of being human. Dax and Monica bring so much honesty, vulnerability, and humor all while really getting to the root of their guests. I always learn something. In this episode, you’ll learn all about neuroscience and how it is related to mental wellness. They also discuss hormones, which is a hot topic that I knew little about. I’d give it an A+ for informational and interesting.

 

Brené with Abby Wambach on the New Rules of Leadership by Brené Brown

This interview blew my socks off. There are so many amazing lessons for females at any age to learn from this podcast. The one thing that this podcast made me realize is that I have been really conditioned to be competitive with other females. This has led me on a mission to become more uplifting and be for each other. Abby also taught me to lean into the strength of my voice.

 

ALLI

 

FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? by We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle

It is no secret to anyone who has spoken to me for 5 minutes — Glennon is my hero! But I also greatly admire her sister, Amanda, and her wife, Abby Wombach, who also appear on their podcast, We Can Do Hard Things. In this episode, Abby hijacks the topic and changes it to “fun” at the last minute to help Glennon and Amanda practice spontaneity. Spoiler alert: this is not their strong suit. Abby reminds us that it’s okay to forget productivity and embrace fun every now and then, and that rest is not the same thing as fun – we need both! They discuss their different approaches to, and opinions of what is fun. I used to get disappointed if I wasn’t immediately excelling at a hobby because at the heart of it, I was still seeking the same feeling of accomplishment and success that I get from work. Since listening to this podcast, I’ve adopted many of my own modes of fun — running, cooking, reading, playing Scrabble and inevitably losing to my partner – and they make me happy even when I’m not the best at them. Give this episode a listen and try to find your fun, it’s worth it!

 

Telling the Truth of Who We Are with Luvvie Ajayi Jones by We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle

We Can Do Hard Things at it again! Before this episode, I had never heard of Luvvie Ajayi Jones, but after listening I immediately followed her on social media and added all of her books to my “To Read” list – so you could say I’m a fan. Luvvie is an author, a speaker, and hosts a podcast of her own, Professional Troublemaker. Not only did Luvvie make me laugh out loud while listening to this episode, but she also taught me a lot about what my values are and how to go into hard conversations with loved ones with confidence and grace. Luvvie has a profound take on judging people, claiming that we’re judging people for the wrong things. Rather than judging people by what they look like, who they love, or what they believe, we should be judging each other on how to be better human beings. I love this take because it pushes me to not only better myself, but also challenge those around me to be better.

 

AMY

 

Brené with Dolly Parton on Songtelling, Empathy, and Shining Our Lights with Unlocking Us by Brené Brown

What’s not to love about this podcast?! It involves 3 of my favorite things: Vulnerability, Empathy, and Dolly Parton! The conversation between Brené and Dolly highlights the beauty and necessity of empathy and the importance of talking about the tough experiences humans go through. Dolly tackles a lot of tough topics in her music (suicide, teen pregnancy, misogyny, domestic violence), and the songs were available at a time when many people suffered in silence. Brené ties in her work on empathy, leadership,and vulnerability, and the result is worth a listen. Brené discusses the importance of acknowledging and not hiding from others’ pain, and Dolly emphasizes how turning towards others’ pain (whether it be through songwriting or donating), has been an important driver in her life. Their bravery and commitment to empathy is inspiring!

 

Anti-Fat Bias by Maintenance Phase

I love all of the episodes of Maintenance Phase because they are so thoroughly researched and thought-provoking, and this one about fat biases is particularly eye-opening. The hosts discuss how deeply embedded our fat phobias and bias are, and the work society needs to do to be inclusive to everyone’s bodies.  If you are interested in learning more about the diet industry and how nutrition myths came to be, I recommend listening to the whole series! 

 

NICOLE

 

5 Strong Ways to Finish Regular by Emily P. Freeman

Find Life After the Death of A Dream with Scott Erickson by Emily P. Freeman

Emily’s podcast is for those that struggle with decision making or just have decision fatigue, in general. The episodes are traditionally 15 minutes or less, and they just feel like a friend giving you a hug! It does have a spiritual component to it, but I feel like this podcast creates space for anyone to take a moment to themselves, process what they’re thinking about ATM, and helps you decide on your next right things with self-compassion and love. 5 Strong Ways to Finish Regular was just what I needed at the end of a long freaking year. And I feel like it applies to life in general! And I also loved Find Life After the Death of A Dream with Scott Erickson!

 

CLARA

 

Alicia Keys and Brené Brown on More Myself by Unlocking Us with Brené Brown

It’s no secret that I love Brené’s work, and this episode of her podcast is no exception. It’s a deep dive into authenticity, full of powerful one-liners and provides what feels like non-stop inspiration. Alicia opens up about how the pressure put on her by the music industry forced her to start paying attention to her mental health. So many of us can relate to the feeling of putting our mental wellness on the back burner, or putting others’ needs before our own. Alicia encourages us to put ourselves first and ask ourselves, “What do you get out of this?” – without the guilt.

 

 

 

 

What Grounds Me as a Mother

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I will never forget the feeling. I was sitting in the bathroom of the hospital room in a postpartum haze. I could hear my husband and the nurse talking jovially in the other room as they discussed discharge instructions for my newborn baby girl. I was quietly sobbing in the bathroom as hormones and fear took over. I didn’t want to leave the safety of the nurses and care team to attempt to keep this child alive. Alone. I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. 

 

In the years after college, my big group of friends became career oriented, moved to different cities and ran in new circles in our 20’s. We saw each other occasionally at weddings as we started to marry, and at couples’ Christmas parties. At the end of our 20’s, we all started finding out we were pregnant within months of each other. The baby showers started and we all gathered and shared the excitement and nerves for what we were about to experience. The birth announcements via group text came and conversations about bottles and breastfeeding commenced. We were all simultaneously experiencing this new version of our lives, and all simultaneously experiencing the overwhelming need for connection and support. There was an unexplainable need we had for each other. We started Friday “play dates” while our babies laid (sometimes) quietly in our arms as we discussed and connected over the nuances of motherhood. As I went back to work, I found myself requesting Fridays as a work from home day with my daughter just so I could continue these play dates with these friends in the same stage of motherhood as me. I couldn’t imagine getting through my weeks without them. 

 

Life Coach, Christa Booker with her kids.

Life Coach, Christa Booker with her kids.

 

I cannot begin to describe the importance this group of women has held for me. We are now almost 11 years in, and the experiences we have had together have formed a bond that I never knew was possible. There have been incredible times like holidays, birthday parties, first days of school, adoptions and births of 2nd, 3rd and even 4th babies. We have had Monday night mommy dance parties, lunch dates, Christmas parties, birthday celebrations, and even a girl trip to Vegas. We have also experienced tears over kindergarten, kiddo broken arms, behavioural issues, car accidents, marital problems, cancer diagnosis, the death of parents and even the death of one of the children. And through it all we were all just there – for the good, bad and ugly. 

 

Throughout the years things have changed. We all have evolving careers, kid sports, new friends and different life paths. Some relationships grew stronger, some grew apart. We still share the occasional group text, lunches and celebrations. We are all busy with life. But on the occasional times that we are able to get together, it is like no one has missed a beat. This group of women will forever take up real estate in my heart and will always be a gift that I never knew I needed, but I am immensely grateful for.  

 

Whenever a new mom asks me for advice, I always say the same thing. Find some other moms to connect to. Ideally find the group that shows up with messy hair and tear streaks that will be truthful about how hard and beautiful the role of motherhood is. The support and compassion of another mom is invaluable and priceless.

You actually DON’T have to do it alone. 

 

The content of this blog is for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship.

 

Starting September 20th, we are offering a 7-session Moms Group Series with Christa. Feel free to show up with messy hair and a tear streaked face if that is where you are.

We will be guiding you through discussion topics such as parental burnout, perfectionist parenting, and much more. Most importantly, we will just be there for you to hold space – for the good, the bad and the ugly. 

Learn more and sign up here